Sunday, February 2, 2025

Affection Vs Rejection - Khalid Zafar


Every year, as teachers, we encounter a new class of forty students, and with them, forty unique families, environments, and backgrounds. I firmly believe that understanding the individual child within this group, especially those coming from less stable or supportive family situations, is crucial.

Children raised in nurturing, positive family environments tend to develop healthier, stronger minds and bodies. They have the foundation for balanced personalities. However, when families experience trauma or hardship, these events can significantly impact a child's psychological well-being and development. Often, the child's emotional needs are unintentionally overlooked during these challenging times. This can lead to an unbalanced personality and manifest as rejection or withdrawal from social interaction.

It's important to remember that not all children react the same way. Each child is an individual, and their responses will vary. This period is critical because these children desperately need affection and acceptance. Without it, they may exhibit hyperactive, unstable, or even destructive behaviors. When we, as teachers, attempt to connect with these children, they might initially avoid eye contact, shielding their emotions. They understand that a single glance could betray the depth of their pain.

I recall a particular instance during an exam. In the creative writing section, one student poignantly described losing their mother during the COVID pandemic. When I spoke with the child, the raw emotion was palpable, just beneath the surface, threatening to spill over. The father, struggling to cope, had placed the child in a boarding school. While the child appeared to have adapted to the school environment, a lingering sadness clouded their eyes and face, a clear indication of the profound grief they carried.

As their pastoral teacher, I reassured them that I was always available to listen whenever they needed someone to talk to. Creating a safe space for them to express their feelings is the first step towards healing.

Khalid Zafar
Sunbeam Suncity



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