Insecurity has a strange construct - an insecure person wants to live convinced of his insecurity. Status-quo is the most comfortable state. Change is difficult because it has to do with inside of ourselves. Change starts with belief in truth and that is tough.
The easiest thing to do when one feels insecure, threatened from something or someone is to go into denial, become protective of one’s sentiments and resist change. Easiest thing, so it comes first to us.
Thus, the question we face is – How to become supporters of change?
Becoming supporters of change would primarily mean focusing on ourselves for change to happen. Our sentiments are irrational; they often lack logic and direction. Our sentiments are selfish and want to be gratified. We want everyone to listen to us and we don’t want to listen to anyone.
A mother recently shared with me that when her son was young, he ate more sweets than allowed. This angered her so much that she forced him to eat all the sweets in the box. She said, “Now (almost after a decade) I feel bad and wonder what temper made me do so!”
The first step for change is a true aspiration for change. Relationships build the basic construct of everything in human society and every relationship starts with oneself.
Don’t get bogged down by how difficult or impossible ‘change’ appears. Don’t leave it because no one believes in you; don’t leave it because it’ll not earn you fame or following. Don’t leave it because it makes you an odd one out in your peer group.
Change is a process and is a powerful choice that you make for yourself. A belief becomes powerful when you start to live it with compassion, adhering to truthful practices in spite of challenges and lack of support. You chose to follow best, truthful approaches to solving/facing life situations.
Change happens by the cultivation of a compassionate heart. Change always starts from within. It’s not a business plan well-written on a piece of paper that you start to execute; it’s a decision to practice compassion, no matter how severe the tide of irrationality, distrust, anger, selfish sentimentality may be – you stick your head above all and keep practising change – never the easy, comfortable route!
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Venus Upadhayaya, is a columnist for Brewing Knowledge
Venus Upadhayaya, is a columnist for Brewing Knowledge