True self-worth and happiness come from feeling beneficial to the community — from knowing that our existence contributes to others. When we act with the intention to contribute, we naturally feel happier. However, this contribution should be free from the desire for recognition or praise, because expecting acknowledgement only traps us in dependency on others' approval.
Often, when people — especially children — cannot gain attention through healthy means, they resort to inappropriate or disruptive behaviour. Many children misbehave not because they are "bad," but because they want to be seen and heard. Every child needs to be listened to so they don't grow up feeling inferior.
Adults, too, sometimes engage in exaggerated behaviours to assert superiority or to stand out. In such environments, what is initially abnormal gradually becomes normalised. The Adlerian view reminds us that freedom, contribution, and belonging in community are essential foundations of a healthy sense of self.
Shalini Gupta
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Every Saturday at 5:30 PM
Every Saturday at 5:30 PM
