Reading from The Courage To Be Disliked by Fumitake Koga and Ichiro Kishimi. To explore Adlerian psychology's concepts of freedom and community.
Key Takeaways
Freedom is the courage to be disliked. It means living by your own principles, not being a "slave to inclination" (Kant) or seeking constant recognition.
"Separation of tasks" is the tool for freedom. It defines boundaries by focusing on your own tasks (e.g., leading a horse to water) and letting go of others' outcomes (e.g., whether the horse drinks).
Fear of judgment is self-centred. This fear stems from an "attachment to self," not concern for others. True connection requires shifting to "social interest" and seeing others as comrades.
Adlerian psychology is "Individual Psychology" because the self is "indivisible." It rejects dualisms (e.g., mind/body, reason/emotion) and views individuals as whole, choosing their actions and emotions.
Topics
Freedom & the Courage to Be Disliked
The universal desire for recognition (Kant's "inclination") makes one a "slave to desire."
Analogy: A stone rolling downhill is unfree; a human resisting inclination and climbing uphill is free.
Core Principle: Freedom is being disliked by some, as it proves you are living by your own principles.
Note: This is not a call to wrongdoing, but to be unconcerned by others' judgment.
Cost of Freedom: The possibility of not being recognised.
Separation of Tasks: The Tool for Freedom
Principle: Define clear boundaries by focusing only on your own tasks.
Example (The Philosopher's Father):
Problem: A strained relationship, attributed to a childhood trauma.
Freudian (Aetiology) View: The trauma caused the bad relationship.
Adlerian (Teleology) View: The memory was used to justify not repairing the relationship.
Solution: The philosopher focused on his own task—resolving to repair the relationship—without expecting his father to change.
Outcome: The father eventually said "Thank you," showing the power of focusing on one's own actions.
Community Feeling: The Goal of Relationships
Critique of Task Separation: The student argued that it leads to isolation.
Philosopher's Clarification: Task separation is a starting point, not an end in itself. It untangles relationship threads to enable true connection.
Goal of Relationships: "Community feeling," or "social interest."
Definition: Seeing others as comrades, finding refuge in the community, and desiring to contribute.
Adler's "Community": An all-inclusive ideal (past, present, future, all life) that is an "unattainable ideal" but a necessary guide.
Self-Centeredness vs. Social Interest
Self-Centeredness: An "attachment to self" focused solely on the "I."
Includes: Tyrants, egotists, and those obsessed with recognition.
Rationale: Worrying about others' opinions is self-centred because it is a concern for how they satisfy your desire for recognition.
Social Interest: A "concern for others" that shifts focus from self to community.
The Dilemma: The student questioned this, arguing that the self is the natural protagonist of one's life.
Next Steps
Sandeep Dutt: Write the Sunday newsletter, including the Good Schools Alliance's new governing council.
All Participants:
Reflect on the concepts of freedom, task separation, and self-centeredness.
Share reflections in the WhatsApp group or request a blogger ID for the website.
Meet next Saturday to continue the discussion.
