Freedom and the Fear of Dislike

Reading from The Courage To Be Disliked by Fumitake Koga and Ichiro Kishimi. To explore Adlerian psychology's concepts of freedom and community.

Key Takeaways

• Freedom is the courage to be disliked. It means living by your own principles, not being a "slave to inclination" (Kant) or seeking constant recognition.

• "Separation of tasks" is the tool for freedom. It defines boundaries by focusing on your own tasks (e.g., leading a horse to water) and letting go of others' outcomes (e.g., whether the horse drinks).

• Fear of judgment is self-centred. This fear stems from an "attachment to self," not concern for others. True connection requires shifting to "social interest" and seeing others as comrades.

• Adlerian psychology is "Individual Psychology" because the self is "indivisible." It rejects dualisms (e.g., mind/body, reason/emotion) and views individuals as whole, choosing their actions and emotions.

Topics

Freedom & the Courage to Be Disliked

• The universal desire for recognition (Kant's "inclination") makes one a "slave to desire."

• Analogy: A stone rolling downhill is unfree; a human resisting inclination and climbing uphill is free.

• Core Principle: Freedom is being disliked by some, as it proves you are living by your own principles.

  • Note: This is not a call to wrongdoing, but to be unconcerned by others' judgment.

• Cost of Freedom: The possibility of not being recognised.

Separation of Tasks: The Tool for Freedom

• Principle: Define clear boundaries by focusing only on your own tasks.

• Example (The Philosopher's Father):

  • Problem: A strained relationship, attributed to a childhood trauma.

  • Freudian (Aetiology) View: The trauma caused the bad relationship.

  • Adlerian (Teleology) View: The memory was used to justify not repairing the relationship.

  • Solution: The philosopher focused on his own task—resolving to repair the relationship—without expecting his father to change.

  • Outcome: The father eventually said "Thank you," showing the power of focusing on one's own actions.

Community Feeling: The Goal of Relationships

• Critique of Task Separation: The student argued that it leads to isolation.

• Philosopher's Clarification: Task separation is a starting point, not an end in itself. It untangles relationship threads to enable true connection.

• Goal of Relationships: "Community feeling," or "social interest."

  • Definition: Seeing others as comrades, finding refuge in the community, and desiring to contribute.

  • Adler's "Community": An all-inclusive ideal (past, present, future, all life) that is an "unattainable ideal" but a necessary guide.

Self-Centeredness vs. Social Interest

• Self-Centeredness: An "attachment to self" focused solely on the "I."

  • Includes: Tyrants, egotists, and those obsessed with recognition.

  • Rationale: Worrying about others' opinions is self-centred because it is a concern for how they satisfy your desire for recognition.

• Social Interest: A "concern for others" that shifts focus from self to community.

• The Dilemma: The student questioned this, arguing that the self is the natural protagonist of one's life.

Next Steps

• Sandeep Dutt: Write the Sunday newsletter, including the Good Schools Alliance's new governing council.

• All Participants:

  • Reflect on the concepts of freedom, task separation, and self-centeredness.

  • Share reflections in the WhatsApp group or request a blogger ID for the website.

  • Meet next Saturday to continue the discussion.

Tom and Jerry- Sunbeam School Indiranagar

In a school, teachers and students are like Tom and Jerry. Where the teacher, like Tom, keeps chasing the students to complete their tasks so that the students complete the given tasks on time. But some students are like Jerry, who are restless, they cannot stay on any task for long and get bored very quickly,  they also start misbehaving and do not even complete their work. In such a situation, a teacher tries that the students should be attentive by making them do different types of activities so that they can develop an interest in their subject and complete their task.

When a teacher behaves normally with the students and keeps aside his seniority, considers himself a facilitator of the students. There is trust in the teacher develops in the students, due to which they share their problems with the teacher which hinders their personality or learning. A teacher is not there only to impart bookish knowledge, he has to play different roles, sometimes he has to be a guardian, sometimes a friend, because to make a student a good citizen, a teacher has to take many forms.

Sunbeam School Indiranagar Varanasi
Chandrani Singh
Shalini Tiwari
Shilpi Chakraborty
Vijeta Wilson
Mizan Ali

Quality and love- Manmohan Kaur

Quality

1. A student who does a shoddy job with classwork and homework.

A) What, according to you, are the most important things to be kept in mind when dealing with such a case?

Ans. In my experience, this has been a widespread occurrence in every classroom. The first thing a teacher should keep in mind is that not all students function in the same way. Some grasp faster than others, while others do not pay much attention to their studies. Thus, every student requires personalized attention. This should be done with ample patience and tact.

Another fact that a teacher must not overlook is the environment provided to the student. A healthy environment will reflect on the students’ performance. This includes the classroom as well as the domestic environment. Parents of most of our students work jobs with long working hours and/or are uneducated. To add to it, intrafamily dynamics may also affect the overall mental health of the students. Hence, the teacher should be mindful of these factors.

B) Give an account of how you would approach the situation?

Ans. Taking the above-mentioned factors into account, I would take the following steps to deal with such a situation:

1. Firstly, I would lessen the amount of daily classwork and focus more on explaining to them the concepts of the study material.

2. I would identify their friends in class and have the students in question sit with them to share and solve each other's problems together.

3. Offering positive remarks, such as ‘Good work’, ‘Well done, ‘Excellent’, ‘Good Going’, ‘Keep it up’ etc., for any progress made can boost their morale.

4. Additionally, exhibiting their work on display boards would motivate them to work harder to seek their peers' admiration.

5. Keeping a check on the classroom environment is a must. I would look out for problematic behaviours among students, such as bullying, and school them about its effects.

6. Every month, an interactive session with their (students in question) parents shall be scheduled to update them on their ward(s) performance and assess the parents' attitude towards academics.

7. I would also ensure that the students know that they can contact their teachers after school hours. We as teachers can organise after-school handwriting improvement classes,doubt-clearance sessions or any other activity as per the students' needs.

8. If the students are struggling financially, I would provide them with school supplies such as notebooks, pencils, pens, etc.

9. It has been observed that students perform better when their parents take an active interest in academics. Hence, this is what I would aim to achieve with the parents.

10. Lastly, to let the students live a healthy childhood and enjoy other interests, I would assign them the least amount of homework. This would be crucial in preventing them from losing interest in their studies.

Love

2) Two underage students in a romantic relationship.

Ans. Romance is a kind of relationship between two people who are in love with each other. While the students at our school are pretty young, they are not aware of the concept of love.

Yet, in the many years, I have taught, I have not come across any two underage students in a romantic relationship. They experience love in all other ways. Even so, if I'm ever faced with such a situation, I would explain to them the meaning of romantic love. I would give them instances of all forms of love around them, for example, parental love, familial bonds and sibling affection. This would be necessary to make them understand that other than the bonds we are born into, choosing the romantic relationships one wants to commit to requires good decision-making skills, which comes with experience that the young students lack. It would also be beneficial to desensitize conservative Indian parents regarding this. Counselling them regarding their children's puberty in advance would give them ample time to prepare for their children's expected adolescent behaviour, including dating. This will help ensure the child's healthy growth in the most important years of their lives and build strong relationships with their own parents. 

It is important to note that being in a romantic relationship is nothing to be looked down upon but rather encouraged. However, it should be so only when the individuals are mature enough to think and consent for themselves. Thus, to conclude, this is how I would handle the situation in question.

Images from Shutterstock.com

- Manmohan Kaur@JMMS, John Martyn Memorial School, Salangaon, Dehradun

SUCCESS - Byju Joseph

Success is something that we dream to achieve which is totally different for each one of us. It gives us a feeling of happiness or satisfaction when we gain it. It provides true meaning to our lives.

In order to succeed, the first thing that you need is to have a goal which needs to be attained. It can be anything towards which you have a particular interest or passion.

Secondly, you need to strive for it, being a passionate dreamer. Concentrate more and take up all the risks and pains to achieve it. Work damn hard for it. Give up everything for your dreams but never give up on your dreams. Everything starts with a small dream, so you have to be a dreamer at first. You know that just being a dreamer can do nothing because dreamers cannot be achievers but just dreamers. Only a few achieve their dreams or goals.

You need to be a believer because nothing will happen until you believe.  Others won’t believe but they will somehow make you doubt on your dreams. Always remember those dreams belong to you and it’s your responsibility to turn it into your reality. Others may or may not support you, you will be all alone but just know the path towards success is less crowded and you will be the one there and no one else.

The next thing you need to know is that hard work pays off. If you want to get something you need to give something at first. Here what you give is your hard work, your energy, your efforts, your time, your tears and it is going to pay off. You need to have your courage to handle, your patience and persistence. 

Nothing happens overnight. Everything takes time. Everything starts from nothing. So you need to make it out of scratch. You cannot build an empire in just one day. You need to hold on through your hardships and pain. Successful people know they are going to be successful no matter what,  that’s the faith that they have in their hearts. You should know that success is destined and your goal is your final destination.

Byju Joseph

The Fabindia School, Bali

bjh@fabindiaschools.in

Time Waits for None : Time - Shivani Rao

Time one of the most precious thing on the earth. Once it goes, never returns. Success and failure of a person depending on how they utilize their time. To achieve successful lifetime management is necessary.

What is time management?  We all have got 24 hours in a day. We cannot do each and everything that we desire to.  This creates hurdles in our everyday work.  Human beings have an unlimited dream to fulfil each, time management is required. In order to work upon each and every corner of your interest division of time is necessary, so that you can complete all your task on time. 

You can be at any stage of your time management strategy leads your future. If you are students studies should be given first priority then come to your personal development and then social life that consist of family and friends. It is important for students to take out time from the daily routine of schools and colleges for personal growth. If you are a working person then running after money should not be your first priority your quality of work should be. Then comes our family. It's equally important to spend time with them.  One must always remember that lost money can be regained if you use your time wisely but lost time can never be repurchased.

Shivani Rao

The Fabindia School

sro@fabindiaschools.in

Benefits of Online Learning - Prakash Dangi

Online Teaching has become a hot trend in recent times. As technology has developed, so too has the way we learn new skills. Thanks to the internet, those interested in boosting their knowledge and skills now have a wide range of options open to them. The main difference between online and offline learning is location. With offline learning, participants are required to travel to the training location, typically a lecture hall, college or classroom. With online learning, on the other hand, the training can be conducted from practically anywhere in the world.

Learning and teaching can occur at times that are more convenient and productive for both students and teachers. Students can work at their own place within a given framework. Online education provides opportunities to access and share information more easily and readily. Teachers and students are able to join online communities of practice based on their area of interest rather than their geographic location. It's obvious that any study resource or information in digital format is very easy to be accessed and shared.

Online teachers often report that students usually perform better and also show more participation in discussions during online classes. According to a recent survey conducted on a group of online instructors, 90% of them have reported that teaching online helps them to stay more connected with the students and also gives them the ability to have a better understanding about every student. 

Prakesh Dangi

The Fabindia School

pda@fabindiaschools.in

Quality and Love - Bharti Rao

Today’s world is highly dynamic. We are in the era of rapid changes in learning, communication and

Made by Anumesh Rao/ XII

lifestyle. We today are in the digital world today. COVID 19 has forced all to stay at home but this brought everyone to be digital. Those who were left alone and were in remorse also got the love and care when they started staying together.

Quality learning enables students to have control over their own learning. Collaboration and cooperation are the two important attributes of quality learning.  Quality learning promotes innovation and flexibility. We learn best when we interact with each other. Educators to bring quality in teaching should engage their students in activities which are important for them. This will give better learning outcomes.

Educators should possess both quality and love. To be an effective teacher we need to be loving and caring. If our students feel that their teachers love and care for them, this can be a strong motivation for learning. Love brings patience and understanding which is a strong aspect for teaching and learning.  If you love and care for your students then they will trust you. This trust will help them to come out of their shyness and will be able to question. This will help them to explore ad give space to pursue their own interests.

We Educators need to be such examples where such a relationship is created that we take place in their family or friends and help them to explore themselves. Teachers always need to wear a smile for it enriches those who receive it and creates a happy and positive environment.

Oliver Wendell Holmes has rightly said, “Love is the master key that opens the gates of happiness”.

Bharti Rao

The Fabindia School

bro@fabindiaschools.in

Thoughtfulness and Understanding - Prerna Rathod

Thoughtfulness is the ability to think about something carefully so that it is effective.

Whereas understanding is the quality of being sympathetic. This means that being understanding is the quality to be able to step into someone's shoes before judging them. We do so because we have been thoughtful and thought from the person’s point of view. A person should take all the decisions in life is thoughtful and understanding.

 A very relevant quote just crossed my mind: 

"Just because you are right, doesn't mean the other person is wrong, you just haven't seen life from his point of view." So, stop judging and start supporting. 

 A thoughtful person is very considerate and compassionate towards others. He also shows respect, care and love for the other person. On the other hand, an understanding person is very tolerant, helpful and cooperative. He will take any decision in a perceptive way and find all solutions before making a decision. In my class, one new student Gita couldn’t cope with the syllabus as she had language problems. Due to this, she started making excuses for not coming to school. I called her mother to find the reason. I was told that other students made fun of her. So I decided to talk to my class. Next day we had a normal discussion and brought the matter in front of the class. I asked them to think if they were in place of Gita, then how would they feel. All students realized their mistake and said sorry to Gita. Thus, Gita started taking an interest in her studies and scored good marks. She was happy.

Life is too short to judge others. Make this earth a better place to live for everyone. Then you'll find it to be a better place for yourself too.

Prerna Rathod
The Fabindia School
 prd@fabindiaschools.in

Freedom and Peace - Kusum Sharma

Freedom is the ability to act without constraint. It can protect humans against social

problems. Freedom and Peace are both the values that are very important for us. If we feel freedom for our growth then only we will feel true happiness and can learn and create new things. I have observed these things in my classroom also. In one of my classes, I taught a lesson to the children and gave them assignments to do at home. That class was filled with lots of brilliant children.

It was a strange thing for me that children never completed their home assignments on time. I called a few students from that class and asked them the reason for the poor performance in their homework. After a few minutes of conversation with them, I got to know that some children from that class belonged to agricultural backgrounds so after going home they used to help their parents, so they were not able to complete their assignments.

They gave a few suggestions and asked permission to complete their work within the school, which I agreed. Then I was happy to see that they completed their task within the classroom whenever they got free time and even with great interest. After that children were very happy and used to finish their work before time. Now I observed that freedom actually provides growth and peace of mind.

Kusum Sharma

The Fabindia School

ksa@fabindiaschools.in

Honesty and Respect - Punita Chouhan

Honesty is being sincere, truthful and frank. It helps us to be trustworthy and get lots of respect in life because honest people are really trusted by others. These people are always respected in their family and society. Honesty is the most remarkable expression of self-respect and other-respect, without any concessions to self-deception or other- deception.

Honesty is the foundation for our daily interaction with friends, students and other people. Whenever we talk with them, they feel happy and secure because it also shows a part of our good and clean character, so honesty helps to develop quality property in behaviour. Honesty is the quality of communicating and acting truthfully. As we share with students, the daily schedule may be in the class, in the playground, in the activities, in the examination time and at result time. It helps children to be stronger, better and independent people. It creates a feeling of joy and goodwill in one’s heart. For improving interest in these values, stories and plays are very helpful sources for us. This promise is about the choices we make and how we treat others. Acting with honesty is a very important part of being an honest person. We must always remember to tell the truth no matter how hard it is. We must also be respectful towards others, ourselves and property around us. To show we are always following this promise we must always listen in class, follow instructions the first of being asked and show respect to school by looking after our environment. Honest people never lie, cheat or steal. An honest person is a genius, fair with everyone, sincere with work, always speaks truth and loyalty. Honesty is a feeling of pride, self-worth and character. Some people who are known for their honesty like: - Martin Luther, Cochise, Barbara Jordan, Confucius, Raja Harishchandra and Mahatma Gandhi etc. These people always live in the heart of people. Punita Chouhan The Fabindia School

Simplicity and Trust - Innovators BHIS

To simplify complications is the first essential of success. 

- George Earle Buckle

Ruchi was a very diligent student and took a keen interest in academics. There was only one subject in which she was not very interested, and that was Mathematics. Maths seems to be a tricky subject for some students mainly because they are unable to clearly understand the topics, and so it was with Ruchi. She was so scared of this subject that she dreaded attending the classes. Somehow she managed to pull herself to get the passing mark, every year.

Ruchi was very apprehensive as she started her new session in grade VIII. She knew that it would not be possible to keep up her average scores if she was not able to fare well in Mathematics. Little did she know, that her new Maths teacher in school would change the way she looked at the subject all these years. 

The way the teacher approached the class on the very first day, made the children feel at ease with the subject, even before she had started on the topics. The way she explained the sums in class, their underlying concepts, made all the children realise how simple they were. 

Ruchi was surprised that she could understand even the difficult problems easily, given the manner of the teacher’s explanations. She gained confidence in herself as she started solving problems on her own - just by following the processes taught at school. To her disbelief, 

Ruchi found herself willingly practising Mathematics at home whenever she could. Her parents, too, noticed this change in their daughter. She felt comfortable in having her doubts cleared by the teacher. Ruchi confided to her parents that she had developed an interest in Mathematics and was no longer scared of it. She was sure that her new teacher was a Maths wizard as she made every problem unravel in a simple manner. She also mentioned to them that the ever-smiling teacher never seemed to get annoyed by the various queries that the children flooded her with. She patiently answered every one of them. Hence, their class trusted this teacher a lot. 

Simplicity is a way of life. Simplicity makes for easy-going life and takes away the unnecessary worries and baggage that we carry. Trust can be built, easily, by people who have a simple yet firm outlook on life.

 - Innovators @ Billabong High International School, Thane

  Bhumi Punjabi, Vaishali Phatak, Krishnakshi RaviShankor, Smita Bhobate

Courage and Patience - Innovators BHIS

The greatest test of courage on the earth is to bear defeat without losing heart- R.G. Ingersoll

Rishi is a timid boy studying in Grade 7. He has the distinct accent of his mother tongue when he tries to speak in English. It is always a thrill for his friends to make fun of his accent, the moment he starts speaking. Timid and shy as he is, Rishi chooses to remain in his shell unless forced to come out of it! His Maths teacher noticed that with each passing day Rishi was starting to lose interest in her subject and refrained from asking questions to clarify his doubts in the class. She chose to take the initiative to make this little boy turn around in Mathematics. So, she mentioned that whoever could not finish their work on time, would have to do so by staying back after school hours.

As expected, Rishi was the only one who had to stay behind to finish his work. The teacher took it as a chance to interact with the shy child and soon could make out that his problem was not with the subject but with his communication. She motivated him to muster courage and to speak. She assured him that his friends would lose interest in teasing him once he was able to overcome his fear; he could, definitely, win his game.

The session with his Maths teacher infused new confidence in Rishi. He reverted to his usual self, clarifying doubts and sharing his ideas in class. Initially, he felt upset as many students giggled, but he learned the tenacity to ignore them. The teacher happily answered his questions, and at the same time instructed the students to maintain decorum while in class. Rishi was all the more encouraged to speak fearlessly and confidently. He regained his interest in Mathematics and practised it regularly. The Maths teacher was patient with the children and continued to encourage them. It brought an immense sense of satisfaction to the teacher as she was able to enthuse this otherwise timid child with a sense of courage, by her patience and affection. There was a sea change in Rishi's attitude after this incident. He not only became active in his classroom but also made more friends in school. Soon he brought laurels to the school by participating in various inter-school events. With every passing day, he became more appreciative of the little things around him. He became more patient and courageous.

Innovators @ Billabong High International School,
 -Bhumi Punjabi, Vaishali  Phatak, Krishnakshi RaviShankor & Smita Bhobate

How to Maintain Concentration - Prakash Dangi

Most of the time we get motivated by others and make new plans with full excitement,

collect some books and notes, etc. Sometimes we even take admission in some institutes and make a new routine. We think of never giving up until we reach our destination and promise ourselves to start the study with new expectations. But gradually, the excitement seems to get weak day by day. And after some days, we even stop putting in efforts in our studies.

This situation is faced by most of the students. It is not only in academics but also in many other sectors. When we don't concentrate, we lose our patience. It is very essential to be determined towards our goal to succeed well. You should choose the subject of your interest so that you don't regret selecting the subject suggested by others.

Sometimes we see the children choose the subject under parent’s pressure. Parents tell the students to choose a subject without even knowing their interest. Every person is unique and has different qualities. To know the inner talent of yourself and to maintain the concentration for a long time, it is important to find our inner qualities and proceed forward in that field. We don't understand immediately any subject. But we should learn a subject from the start and the basics. After that, we can solve problems easily and improve the subject slowly- slowly. To maintain the concentration, we need to have a big dream and some role model. Every day we should stay focused and think to complete our dreams. So, on the basis of my experience, if you follow these tips, definitely you will achieve your dreams.

Prakash Dangi

The Fabindia School

रचनात्‍मकता को पुरस्कृत करे

हर छात्र में कोई ना कोई खास बात होती है  जरुरत  होती है इस रचनात्मकता को प्रोत्साहित करने की। हर बच्चा एक कलाकार होता है, समस्या यह है कि, आप बड़े हो जाने पर, अपने अन्दर के कलाकार को जिंदा कैसे रखें।

अगर आप अपने अन्दर एक आवाज़ सुने की तुम पेंट नहीं कर सकते तो पेंट करने की हर संभव कोशिश करें और वह आवाज़ अपने आप गायब हो जाएगी।

कल्पना शुरुवात है रचना की। आप वह कल्पना करते हो जिसकी आपको इच्छा है, आप वह बन जाओगे जो आप कल्पना करते हो, और अंत में, आप उसकी रचना करोगे जो आप चाहोगे।

रचनात्मकता तो बस चीजों को जोड़ना है। जब आप रचनात्मक लोगों से पूछ्तें हैं कि आपने यह कैसे किया, तो वे थोड़े शर्मिंदा महसूस करतें हैं, क्योंकि वास्तव में उन्होंने यह नहीं किया होता है, उन्होंने कुछ देखा। कुछ समय बाद उन्हें अपना काम सामान्य लगने लगता है।

बहुत सारे आयडियाज़ (नये विचार) होना अच्छा है, भले ही उनमे से कुछ गलत भी हों, इस बात से कि आप हमेशा सही हों और आपके पास कोई आयडिया ना हो”

रचनात्मकता नयी खोज करना है, नया प्रयोग करना है, रिस्क लेना है, नियमों को तोडना है, गलतियाँ करना है, और मज़ा करना है

रचनात्मक कार्य का सबसे ऊँचा पुरस्कार  जो हमें मिल सकता है वह रचनात्मक होने का सुख है।

हमारी सीख - आइसक्रीम मेकर by सुबीर चौधरी

अजय विजयवर्गी , कुसुम डांगी , तरुण मिश्रा , उस्मान गनी

The Fabindia School