Violence as an Immature Communication Strategy

 

Masterclass

To reframe violence as an immature communication strategy and advocate for student self-reliance. Reading from the book The Courage To Be Happy by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga

Key Takeaways

• Violence is an immature communication strategy. It’s a low-cost, high-effort shortcut to force submission when verbal consensus fails. This includes non-physical acts, such as rebuking, which Adler called “anger that pulls people apart.”

• Shift from cause to goal. Instead of focusing on who is to blame (“bad person” vs. “poor me”), guide students to focus on “What should I do from now on?” to foster responsibility and self-reliance.

• Educators must foster self-reliance. The core task is to help students gain the awareness that they can accomplish things on their own. This requires a horizontal relationship, not a vertical one built on authority.

• The reward is the feeling of contribution. Expecting student gratitude hinders self-reliance. True happiness comes from contributing to their growth, not from being thanked.

Topics

Violence as an Immature Communication Strategy

• Violence is a shortcut to force submission when verbal communication fails to achieve consensus.

• This includes non-physical acts, such as rebuking, which is a low-cost attempt to force submission.

• Adler’s view: “Anger is an emotion that pulls people apart.” It invites contempt and reveals the adult’s immaturity, undermining respect.

The “Triangular Column” Framework

• This framework helps analyse conflict by identifying three perspectives:

  1. “That bad person”: The perceived aggressor.

  2. “Poor me”: The perceived victim.

  3. “What should I do from now on?”: The forward-looking, goal-oriented perspective.

• Focusing on the first two only yields excuses. The goal is to guide students to the third perspective.

Fostering Self-Reliance

• Problem: Adults often hinder self-reliance by creating dependence.

  • Reason 1: Fear of losing authority in a vertical relationship.

  • Reason 2: Self-protection—avoiding responsibility for student failures.

• Solution: Create a horizontal relationship where students can make their own decisions.

  • Separation of Tasks: Don’t intervene in tasks where the student bears the final responsibility.

  • Support, don’t control: Provide knowledge and experience, but let students choose their own paths.

Next Steps

• Gurdeep Kaur: Write a reflection on the quote “Anger is an emotion that pulls people apart.”

• All Participants:

  • Join the “My Good School” session tomorrow.

  • Continue the discussion in the WhatsApp group.

• Sandeep Dutt: Resume the masterclass on Saturday, April 4, from the current bookmark.

FATHOM AI-generated notes, read with care.