The 5 Stages of Problem Behaviour

Masterclass with Sandeep Dutt 

To analyse the five stages of problem behaviour from The Courage to be Happy by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga.

Key Takeaways

• Problem behaviour escalates through 5 stages, each driven by a goal to secure a “special position” and rooted in a “love-starved” feeling.

• Rebuke is ineffective; it often reinforces the behaviour by fulfilling the student’s goal of being recognised, even when it’s negative.

• Intervention must match the stage: early stages respond to respect, while late stages require professional help.

• The teacher’s role is critical for prevention, as most problem behaviour stops at Stage 3 (Power Struggle).

Topics

The 5 Stages of Problem Behaviour

• Stage 1: Demand for Admiration

  • Goal: Gain praise and a privileged position.

  • Behaviour: Acting as the “good child” or “honour student.”

  • Risk: Motivation collapses without praise, leading to cheating.

  • Intervention: Show respect to convey inherent worth, focusing on small, everyday details.

• Stage 2: Attention Drawing

  • Goal: Stand out by any means when praise fails.

  • Behaviour:

    • Assertive: Mischief (e.g., noise, ridiculing) to be a “class clown.”

    • Passive: Dramatic drop in achievement (e.g., forgetting, crying).

  • Rationale: Prefers negative attention (rebuke) to being ignored.

  • Intervention: Convey worth through respect; this is the last stage where direct teacher intervention is effective.

• Stage 3: Power Struggle

  • Goal: Prove might through open resistance and disobedience.

  • Behaviour: Provocation, foul language, rule-breaking, or passive refusal to engage.

  • Teacher’s Trap: Reacting with anger creates a “racket of anger” that escalates the conflict.

  • Intervention: Get off the “court” immediately by refusing to engage in the power struggle.

• Stage 4: Revenge

  • Goal: Seek “love’s revenge” on those who wouldn’t provide love; seeks connection through hate.

  • Behaviour: Repeating disliked actions, stalking, self-harm, or social withdrawal.

  • Rationale: Accuses others (“it’s your fault”) and finds success in their worry.

  • Intervention: Requires an impartial third party (another teacher, parent, specialist) because the student will escalate behaviour with the original teacher.

• Stage 5: Proof of Incompetence

  • Goal: Announce incompetence to avoid further hurt and disappointment.

  • Behaviour: Despair, self-deprecation, lethargy, and rejection of all assignments.

  • Rationale: “Don’t expect anything from me.”

  • Intervention: Requires a specialist. This stage is difficult to reverse, even for professionals.

The Ineffectiveness of Rebuke

• The Cycle: Rebuke provides only temporary quiet. The teacher must constantly yell, proving that it is an ineffective educational tool.

• The Paradox: Problem behaviour often implies a wish to be rebuked, as it fulfils the goal of being recognised as “special.”

• The Deterrent Fallacy: Punishment fails as a deterrent in education because the student’s underlying goal is to be noticed, making the punishment itself a form of reward.

Next Steps

• All Participants:

  • Read the chapter “War vs Peace” from Wanted Backbencher Last Ranker Teacher by Kavita Ghosh.

• Sandeep Dutt:

  • Continue reading The Courage to be Happy on March 28, 2026 - VIOLENCE IN THE NAME OF COMMUNICATION

FATHOM AI-generated summary, read with care.