The 5 Stages of Problem Behaviour

Masterclass with Sandeep Dutt 

To analyse the five stages of problem behaviour from The Courage to be Happy by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga.

Key Takeaways

• Problem behaviour escalates through 5 stages, each driven by a goal to secure a “special position” and rooted in a “love-starved” feeling.

• Rebuke is ineffective; it often reinforces the behaviour by fulfilling the student’s goal of being recognised, even when it’s negative.

• Intervention must match the stage: early stages respond to respect, while late stages require professional help.

• The teacher’s role is critical for prevention, as most problem behaviour stops at Stage 3 (Power Struggle).

Topics

The 5 Stages of Problem Behaviour

• Stage 1: Demand for Admiration

  • Goal: Gain praise and a privileged position.

  • Behaviour: Acting as the “good child” or “honour student.”

  • Risk: Motivation collapses without praise, leading to cheating.

  • Intervention: Show respect to convey inherent worth, focusing on small, everyday details.

• Stage 2: Attention Drawing

  • Goal: Stand out by any means when praise fails.

  • Behaviour:

    • Assertive: Mischief (e.g., noise, ridiculing) to be a “class clown.”

    • Passive: Dramatic drop in achievement (e.g., forgetting, crying).

  • Rationale: Prefers negative attention (rebuke) to being ignored.

  • Intervention: Convey worth through respect; this is the last stage where direct teacher intervention is effective.

• Stage 3: Power Struggle

  • Goal: Prove might through open resistance and disobedience.

  • Behaviour: Provocation, foul language, rule-breaking, or passive refusal to engage.

  • Teacher’s Trap: Reacting with anger creates a “racket of anger” that escalates the conflict.

  • Intervention: Get off the “court” immediately by refusing to engage in the power struggle.

• Stage 4: Revenge

  • Goal: Seek “love’s revenge” on those who wouldn’t provide love; seeks connection through hate.

  • Behaviour: Repeating disliked actions, stalking, self-harm, or social withdrawal.

  • Rationale: Accuses others (“it’s your fault”) and finds success in their worry.

  • Intervention: Requires an impartial third party (another teacher, parent, specialist) because the student will escalate behaviour with the original teacher.

• Stage 5: Proof of Incompetence

  • Goal: Announce incompetence to avoid further hurt and disappointment.

  • Behaviour: Despair, self-deprecation, lethargy, and rejection of all assignments.

  • Rationale: “Don’t expect anything from me.”

  • Intervention: Requires a specialist. This stage is difficult to reverse, even for professionals.

The Ineffectiveness of Rebuke

• The Cycle: Rebuke provides only temporary quiet. The teacher must constantly yell, proving that it is an ineffective educational tool.

• The Paradox: Problem behaviour often implies a wish to be rebuked, as it fulfils the goal of being recognised as “special.”

• The Deterrent Fallacy: Punishment fails as a deterrent in education because the student’s underlying goal is to be noticed, making the punishment itself a form of reward.

Next Steps

• All Participants:

  • Read the chapter “War vs Peace” from Wanted Backbencher Last Ranker Teacher by Kavita Ghosh.

• Sandeep Dutt:

  • Continue reading The Courage to be Happy on March 28, 2026 - VIOLENCE IN THE NAME OF COMMUNICATION

FATHOM AI-generated summary, read with care.

Hope and Friendship - Preeti Mahajan

“Hope is the power that gives a person the confidence to step out and try.

Once you choose hope, anything is possible.”

Life is a roller coaster ride. We all face ups and downs in the course of life. The only weapon that helps

us to sail through the darkest of times is hope.

My Observation

A girl in class 8, Vibhuti (name changed), lost her parents in a car accident. She was an average student, but post the tragedy, she became utterly hopeless and pessimistic in her approach to life.

The effort from my side.

Vibhuti was given individual attention in class. Many times, counselling and guidance were provided to her. Personalised notes and test papers were given to her. She was made comfortable to ask and discuss her personal problems and challenges. In due course of time, she regained her lost hope and interest. Instead, her academic performance also improved.

Friendship

“True friends are like diamonds bright, beautiful, valuable and always in style.”

My observation

A child named Zoya (name changed) in class 8 was a reserved and quiet girl. No friend circle at all. She occupied the last seat always and often found herself lost in her thoughts only. At times, she was quarrelsome and short-tempered also. This indifferent behaviour made her isolated from her entire class.

Action taken

Zoya was counselled for her indifferent behaviour. She was convinced to sit and mix up with the

students of a class. She was given group tasks like board decoration, copy collection, group projects,

enacting plays and many more to make her converse, interact and talk with her classmates. She was

appreciated for her excellent performance and transformation.

Advice to the educators

Children are like soft clay, ready to be moulded and shaped by us, the sculptors.

Observe the child deeply.

Take the right action at the earliest.

Hold their hands firmly.

Show them the light so that they can traverse even the darkest tunnel in their life smoothly.

Ms Preeti Mahajan

Ahlcon Public School

JOL Cohort 2022

Happiness and Tolerance - Jaspreet Kaur

 My experience with handling an unhappy student and an intolerant one.

Jaspreet Kaur

Kamla Nehru Public School, Phagwara

JOL Cohort 2022

Unity and Caring - Kirti Bisht

If we talk about the past, we have come across many incidents where unity has changed the course of the history of certain countries and at the same time there have been incidents where lack of unity proved to be a blunder for others.

The American Revolution, the French Revolution, the Non-Co-operation Movement in India are the finest examples of unity; and history says it all that whenever people failed to unite in face of a foreign enemy, they have faced its consequences. For example, during the Turkish Invasion in India, the regional kingdoms did not unite which led to the establishment of the Delhi Sultanate. On the other hand, we also know that the Britishers were able to colonize the Indian territories due to the lack of unity among Indians.

With this context, the words of J.K. Rowling can be put in the best light that “We are only as strong as we are united and as weak as we are divided.”

So, if we are fighting for a common cause or if we have a common goal, we cannot achieve it without unity.

“Sometimes it takes only one act of kindness or caring to change a person’s life”        -        Jackie Chan

Caring is paying attention to others, protecting others or being considerate. There are many ways through which we can show others that we care but I think the most important of them is taking out time for others.

If we link the above two values, we’ll realize that both go hand in hand. If there is caring, there will be unity or if people are united that means they are being cared for.

In an organization if the workers feel that the management cares for them, they will work in unity for the development of that organization and if they feel just the opposite then the workers too won’t care about the progress of their organization. They will work just for the sake of their living.

So, one should take out time for others, understand their problems, show them that they are being cared for. It will lead to unity……

Kirti Bhist
The Doon Girls' School

Competition Oriented Schooling - Manish Jaiswal

Hello Everyone, once again, I am before you with another relevant issue. I hope this article touches you when you are in the state of good health and spirit. Every time I come before you with a new welfare topic related to students.This time I want to draw the kind attention of educators towards the well being in the career of School students.

In our new education policy, we are very much concerned about the pattern of learning, we are providing to students. There is a lot of impact of the early school days on the career of a child. Whatever he or she learns in the school remains with him/ her till the achievement of a career.

Therefore it is of utmost importance that we give our students something efficient, very relevant and very much related to to the trending skills/requirements of the job.

Balancing between board exams and competitions

Some exams student can prepare in and after  10th are:-

National talent search Exam

Kishore Vaigyanik Protsahan Yojana

Olympiad

NEET(MEDICAL CAREER)

IIT JEE & ADVANCED( ENGINEERING CAREER)

SSC EXAMS ( GOVT.JOBS)

OTHERS

One of the several issues is competition exams which a student faces after schooling in the years of graduation to get a job. 

If a student is provided with the exact information on the career options by the school faculty then mostly the students make up their mind to go in a particular stream as per their knowledge, skill, interest and aspirations.

After the information on career options, faculty members should guide the students toward the syllabus and requirements different career options. It means which exam will lead to his desired career.

Then information of the syllabus good books, study material and guidance (what to study and how much is to study) is needed to be given to students.

We should tell them how much of the current curriculum will contribute to the competitive exam. It will raise the awareness of student and will give him the motive of studying current class syllabus.

Teachers should share some interviews of toppers of competition exams, revealing their strategy to get success.

We should guide students about how to maintain a perfect balance between class curriculum and competitive syllabus.

More emphasis should be given to multiple-choice questions, and one-word answers as it is the inherent pattern in all competitive exams.

Reference books should be included while covering the NCERT curriculum. Teachers should sort out topics common to both board exams and competitions and focus more on them.

Emphasis should be given on both speed and accuracy of the students in answering the questions.

The occasional test may be planned on the pattern based on career exams.

Orienting the students towards the pattern of career exams has become the need of the hour.

Thank you.

(Courtesy: Times of India)

Manish Jaiswal, The Fabindia School <mjl@fabindiaschools.in>

Being Focused - Urvish Singh

Being focused means that you have clear goals and objectives and your work is dedicated to achieving those goals and objectives. When you are deciding what you are going to do in any given moment; you base your decision on how you can make the most progress towards your goals with the time and resources available.

Being focused in the present moment means that you are solely focused on the one activity that you are trying to complete. Anything else is unimportant so you shut out all distractions and give your full and undivided attention to the task at hand. It’s difficult for people to remain focused on one task for a variety of reasons. 

For one, we live in a world where we are constantly bombarded with TV, radio, cell phones, Internet social media, as well as a much larger population that lives closer together than ever before. the benefits of being focused are 1=u are quicker 2=u produce higher quality 3=less stress and Being focused is the key to success. It is not about doing the most work; it is about doing your most important work to the highest standard. Only being focused allows you to do that.

Urvish Singh

The Fabindia School

ush@fabindiaschoos.in

Hope and Friendship - Kusum Sharma

Hope is an optimistic state of mind that is based on positive outcomes. Hopeful people believe that they can influence their goal. Hope and Friendship values are very much connected to each other. True Friendship is when someone knows you better than yourself and takes a position in your best interests in a crisis.

I remembered one incident in the classroom where I saw a real example of hope and Friendship. Sneha was a very brilliant student in her class and even excellent in all other activities also. Observed that from a few weeks she was not able to concentrate on her studies and always refused to take part in other events. I wanted to know the reason for this.

I called and asked her about her negligence of work, but she was not interested to share her problem. Next day her very close friend Reena came to me and disclosed that she was very tense due to her parents' separation and divorce.

I observed Reena was very helpful and caring for her and always tried to help her in every small thing. She motivated her to take part in games and other activities and also get her ready to talk to me for her problem. I even started playing extra attention towards her, now she was very friendly with me. We both tried our best to overcome her through that tough time. I was wondering if the support of her friend brought new hope for her. Now again she is doing best in academics and athletics as well.

Kusum Sharma

The Fabindia School

ksa@fabindiaschools.in

Covid 19: A Teacher's Perspective - Ajay Vijayvargi

 After going through various layouts in the package of 20 lac crores to deal with the extraordinary situation by the pandemic in India by the government, where most affected sectors of society –labourers, farmers, industries, infrastructure banking and many more are covered, it is clear that the Indian government is trying to benefit everyone. This move is welcome and was much needed to fight. As per the surveys, the amount of the package is about 10% of the GDP of the country thereby making some compromises even in the defence sector (reduction in budget outlay) for next financial year. A lot many relaxations in all sectors like less deduction of EPF from salaries, a moratorium in EMI`s. Everything is fine, it's the government's responsibility, full marks for it as under the present situation whatever best was possible is being done.

However, the question nobody asked and neither answered, is nothing is thought over the working of private schools big or small as due to sudden lockdown from mid-March when the session was going to end and fees were not collected completely, the schools somehow managed to pay the salaries for the month of March but schools started facing a severe crisis – financial crunch. The reason is simple students not coming to school, parents finding it difficult to pay the fees due to delay in the salaries, uncertainty in the job and future liabilities etc and are asking for a waiver of school fees for one quarter i.e from April to June.

The government has not given a clear verdict over this, which affected lacs of private school teachers unpaid, how will they run their family expenditures and pay fees of their ward and a lot more. The government has paid attention to the needs of the present hour but nobody thought about investing in the future, as `School Fees are to be considered as a future investment and not expenditure`.

The only insight required is a provision in the financial package for private schools as soft loans for a year or so that when situation normalises and fees are recovered by schools these loan amounts would be repaid, this financial assistance to school will give liquidity to schools to pay salaries to the teachers regularly during this difficult times so that teachers also can run their families and meet unforeseen expenses like sickness etc in their families.

The teaching profession is most unrated as the teachers are underpaid but they are shaping the future generation and an important part of the society too.

Ajay Vijayvargi, The Fabindia School

Happiness and Tolerance - Nikita Rajpurohit

Students always have the tendency to grasp things in different ways which may not always

be what we would like to portray to them. As teachers, we are expected to maintain a balance between students’ happiness as well as class discipline.

Happiness and Tolerance are like two sides of the same coin where the students, as well as the teachers, may face difficulty in applying them in their every-day lives. A classroom incident to which we as teachers or reminiscing our school days may relate to is given in the following short story.

So there's this one student in Class IX who has been good in academics, good in sports, moreover he is well-disciplined, but there's only one thing that he is lacking, that is tolerance and that too when he has done a mistake unintentionally and he gets a scold from the teacher, he loses all his cool and becomes the real opposite of what he actually is...

He feels happy when he succeeds in anything, be it academic, sports, arts, anything but once he gets a sign of failure, he doesn't seem to care what he speaks or what is he doing...

I noticed it many times and I was a bit curious to know a solution for him where he can be happy and tolerant at even bad situations. So one day, I entered the class, called him up and asked for his notebook, and I was really glad to see that he is all checked with his work. Still, I made a quick comment by saying, “You should pay attention to your handwriting, my dear."At the very moment, he listened to my statement and became red in anger and said,” I won't do anything now". And yes, he was in the intolerance phase now.

I called another student who had not completed his work and asked him to improve his handwriting and with that, the second student replied, "Yes ma'am, I will". Then I took the first student (the main kid) outside the classroom and made him sit on a chair and said, " You see even though he didn't complete his work, I was aware of that but when I suggested him the same thing I did to you, he was very polite with his answer and I know he will definitely pay attention to his handwriting. On the same place, you're a good student and we expect you to be the best as you are, and if you take our suggestions positively, it will be you who will be good at everything. I hope you understood my kid".

The next day when I entered the school gate, he came up with a smile and apologized for yesterday's scenario and said," From today onwards, I will not be angry at anything and really try to take your suggestions in a productive way".

This made me very glad, seeing a student like him who understood the concept of happiness and tolerance...

Nikita Rajpurohit

The Fabindia School

Happiness and Tolerance - Innovators BHIS

Simple things can be turn around point for innocent lives. Being tolerant teaches us to accommodate everyone no matter how they are, thus, bringing forth the feeling of sheer happiness.

Ryan happened to be the tiniest child in the class as far as his stature was concerned. He was not only small in size but also needed special attention and individual assistance. Every day he would come to school in his father's auto-rickshaw whereas, most of his classmates came in their chauffeur-driven cars. Children in the class would derive some fun at the cost of hurting Ryan’s sentiments. As children would like to enjoy with friends of their age, so did Ryan want to enjoy with his classmates. As luck would have it, each time he joined them in some activity, he would face disappointment and get back to his place. Ryan did not take much interest in his studies yet one subject which really interested him was Geography. He would be excited to attend the Geography lessons. 

To make Ryan feel more included in the class, the teacher decided to conduct a quiz on topics from Geography lessons. The winning team would be congratulated by the Principal during the assembly time. When the class was divided into groups, Ryan's group was visibly unhappy to have him with them. Ryan could not express his excitement seeing the reaction of his teammates. The class was all geared up when they were leaving for the day. When Ryan was leaving the class, he turned around to look at the teacher with expectant eyes. She smiled and said "All the best, Ryan...it will be your day tomorrow!' He smiled back and left. 

Next day, as the quiz started, to everyone's surprise, not only did Ryan answer all questions thrown at his group correctly but also answered a few bonus questions. Finally, Ryan's team won the quiz and his teammates simply picked him up in the air and cheered for him. The smile on Ryan's face and sparkle in his eyes, after that win, was worth more than a million-dollar! All the students of the class started asking Ryan to be in their team next time a quiz is held in the class. They had all become a big team, tolerant of each other. They were happy to be just friends.

Innovators @ Billabong High International School Thane

-Bhumi Punjabi, Vaishali Pathak, Krishnakshi Ravishonkar, Smita Bhobate

Happiness and Tolerance - Dutt's Top Ten SHS

Gautam Mukherjee,  as an inexperienced and young school master, thought that all school teachers have the license to beat students for any indiscipline.

A student once came to his class without his homework and on the pretext of being a strict teacher,  slapped him without asking him for his reason of non-submission of work. In that class of 35 minutes, the student cried in the most heart-wrenching manner as the class progressed. At the end of the class, he called him aside and asked him the reason for crying so long. He explained- My father is a drunkard and has come drunk last night and had started beating my mother. In fear, then the student had hidden under the bed for the whole night and ran away from home early in the morning. He waited outside the school gate to enter the school when it reopened .

The incident was a turning point in Gautam's life. A student had come to the safety of his school, classroom from an abusive father. Surely a slap from a teacher was the last straw for the child.
He thanks God for the lesson on tolerance that he received from that day's incident in the class.

Mr Bismarck was working as a warden when he noticed that a student was depressed and unhappy for a long time. After spending some time with him, he understood that his father was on the verge of bankruptcy in his business and this was making the student anxious and worried. He advised him on dealing with this problem. After some days the student came back to him to inform him that he was no longer feeling depressed and sharing his problem with Bismarck was all that was necessary to help him.

He realized that as a warden, sometimes giving your individual attention and time to your student is all that is required to create happiness.

Gautam, Joyce and Debasish teach Political science, the Primary School and Computers respectively. They feel that happiness can be created when we help our students achieve something more than what they thought that they were capable of achieving. Isha Mandal was a political science student who had never been able to score well academically. Isha was the happiest student that Gautam Mukherjee remembers in his teaching career when she managed to score 92% in her ISC exams through constant encouragement.

Similarly, Pawan Yadav is another happy face that Joyce remembers at the end of a school year when he was able to do well in all his subjects when Joyce could spend time with him all over the year to help him improve his score.

Piyush Pallav is another student in grade 8 who had not passed in Computers all over the year. A small encouragement in the form of a promise of "10 grace marks" in his practical exam if he managed to score above 20 marks in his theory was all that was required for him to work harder. Debasish remembers Piyush as the happiest student in his class that year when he scored 55 per cent - much beyond his own expectations when he had encouraged him to work harder.

-Gautam Mukherjee<gautammukherjee1302@gmail.com>for Dutt's Top 10 at Sacred Heart School, Siliguri.

Dr Tazeen Siddiqui: Love a little Extra at all Times...

When a child get depressed, sad, aggressive,quite, impatient, careless  etc we all give an Extra attention to the child and extra love too for getting the child back in the right direction of hope, acceptance, peace, satisfaction and motivated to lead with confidence and excellence but  we often shift the Extra attention when the child Behaviour changes into positivity and  become relaxed but on contrary the conditions and situations in which we need to pay equal attention, support and love are not just negative conditions but we need it in positive conditions as well like when ...

your Teenager starts to comb his hair a little extra...

When your son starts to get dressed a few minutes extra...

When your son begins to dream and respond a little late...

When your son starts to be more excited in the day a little extra...

When your son starts to hide his bag in a secret place immediately after coming from school...

When your son eats in haste and cleans his study table by putting everything in the right place to keep you away from it...

When your Teenager starts to clean shoes before leaving a little extra...

When your Teenager comes to you and returns without speaking...

When your Teenager put his head on your lap a little extra...

When your Teenager smiles when alone a little extra...

When your teenagers don't look into your eyes when u interact...

When your son stammers a little extra while interacting...

When your son gets fidgety while interacting...

.......Extra attention not just in negative situations we need it in positive situations too as Love has to be showered equally in both the conditions...

Tazeen Siddiqui, an educationist and a trainer 

fortazeen@gmail.com