Unity & Caring - Engaging Minds BHIS

Parenting our parents

How to cope with the changing tide - when our parents need us to step up and start to parent them….

"Amma, I am going to the Mall along with my wife and daughter please take care of the house." "OK son. You go ahead, already my legs are aching and I am not interested in coming to the mall you all go ahead."

"Grandma, you should also come" insisted the granddaughter ...

"Grandma cannot climb all those steps in the mall, she does not know how to use the escalator. As there are no temples there, Grandma will not be interested. She is interested only in going to temples," said the daughter in law.

Though Grandma nodded in agreement the granddaughter was adamant. She refused to come to the mall if Grandma was not coming. Though Grandma repeated that she was not interested, she could not stand her ground against her dear ten-year-old granddaughter and finally, she agreed to accompany them.

The granddaughter was very happy. Father asked everyone to get dressed up. Before her parents could get ready, the oldest and the youngest were ready. The youngster took her grandma to the front room. She drew two parallel lines, a foot apart. She told her grandmother that it was a game and the old lady had to pretend that she was a crane (the bird). She had to keep one leg within the lines and raise the other leg by three inches. " What is this my dear?" asked Grandma. "  This is the Crane game, Grandma. I will show you how to play." Both of them played a few times before the father could bring the car.… Grandma became adept in the game.

They reached the mall and when they reached the escalator, the father and mother were wondering how the elderly lady would master that. The granddaughter took Grandma near the escalator and asked her to play the Crane game. Grandma raised her right foot and kept it on one of the moving steps and raised her left leg by three inches and could easily reach the next moving step. This way, she effortlessly used the escalator to reach the higher level, to the wonder of her son and daughter in law. With her successful debut, Grandma and the granddaughter moved up and down several times on the escalator and were enjoying the fun.

They then went to the theatre to see a movie, as it was cold inside, granddaughter took out a shawl from her bag and covered the old lady, with a mischievous smile, she had come prepared for this! After the movie, they went to a restaurant, when the son asked his mother what to order, his daughter took away the menu and thrust it in the hands of Grandma. "You know how to read; better go through the menu and order whatever you want." Grandma decided the items to be eaten.

Before leaving for home, Grandma went to use the toilet. Using that occasion, the father asked his daughter how she knew so much about his mother which as a son, he was not aware of. Prompt came the response: "Dad, when a young child is brought out of the home, you make so many preparations - milk bottles, diaper, wipes etc. Your mother would have done all these things for you. Why not show the same consideration for your mother? Why did you presume that the elderly would be interested only in temples, they also have normal desires like going out and enjoying all the fun. Since they do not openly express it, we have to coax them to speak up."

The father was speechless. However, he was happy to learn a new lesson from his ten-year-old daughter...

Unity is the best teamwork we could ever have in a caring family.

To care for those who once cared for us is one of the highest honours and it is still true, no matter how old you are when you go out into the world it is best to Hold Hands and Stick Together.

Engaging Minds @ Billabong High International School Thane 

- Ginny Franklin, Yojana Suryarao, Ishita Thakkar, Kiran Pandey, Nilka Gandhi, Geeta Mali, Meenaz Khan.

Happiness and Tolerance - Dutt's Top Ten SHS

Gautam Mukherjee,  as an inexperienced and young school master, thought that all school teachers have the license to beat students for any indiscipline.

A student once came to his class without his homework and on the pretext of being a strict teacher,  slapped him without asking him for his reason of non-submission of work. In that class of 35 minutes, the student cried in the most heart-wrenching manner as the class progressed. At the end of the class, he called him aside and asked him the reason for crying so long. He explained- My father is a drunkard and has come drunk last night and had started beating my mother. In fear, then the student had hidden under the bed for the whole night and ran away from home early in the morning. He waited outside the school gate to enter the school when it reopened .

The incident was a turning point in Gautam's life. A student had come to the safety of his school, classroom from an abusive father. Surely a slap from a teacher was the last straw for the child.
He thanks God for the lesson on tolerance that he received from that day's incident in the class.

Mr Bismarck was working as a warden when he noticed that a student was depressed and unhappy for a long time. After spending some time with him, he understood that his father was on the verge of bankruptcy in his business and this was making the student anxious and worried. He advised him on dealing with this problem. After some days the student came back to him to inform him that he was no longer feeling depressed and sharing his problem with Bismarck was all that was necessary to help him.

He realized that as a warden, sometimes giving your individual attention and time to your student is all that is required to create happiness.

Gautam, Joyce and Debasish teach Political science, the Primary School and Computers respectively. They feel that happiness can be created when we help our students achieve something more than what they thought that they were capable of achieving. Isha Mandal was a political science student who had never been able to score well academically. Isha was the happiest student that Gautam Mukherjee remembers in his teaching career when she managed to score 92% in her ISC exams through constant encouragement.

Similarly, Pawan Yadav is another happy face that Joyce remembers at the end of a school year when he was able to do well in all his subjects when Joyce could spend time with him all over the year to help him improve his score.

Piyush Pallav is another student in grade 8 who had not passed in Computers all over the year. A small encouragement in the form of a promise of "10 grace marks" in his practical exam if he managed to score above 20 marks in his theory was all that was required for him to work harder. Debasish remembers Piyush as the happiest student in his class that year when he scored 55 per cent - much beyond his own expectations when he had encouraged him to work harder.

-Gautam Mukherjee<gautammukherjee1302@gmail.com>for Dutt's Top 10 at Sacred Heart School, Siliguri.

Humility must be consistently modeled as a lifestyle

Is your child ready to face the world?  
By Dr Anupam Sibal

After reading the first lesson of the book l felt having a humble attitude does not mean we shouldn't acknowledge or be proud of our talents, strengths and accomplishments. However we should use them in the service of others. Humility is something we choose,  it does not come automatically to most of us. True leaders serve their followers and the best teachers work for their students and make their child ready to face the world. As a teacher I think that humility is also an associate of gratitude, and it is an attribute  that simply oozes in class. I think there are some ways to teach humility to our  children.

Humility must be consistently modeled as a lifestyle, not with on again, off again examples, i.e never underestimate the power of teaching through examples.  

1. Build them up
2. Encourage and help them to be the very best they can be, no matter what they do. 3. Humility works best when our child has actually achieved something! We should help our child achieve with confidence.
4. Make sure they understand where their value comes from.
5.Teacher should never humiliate  the child.
6.Teach them to serve. Serve the homeless. Serve the poor. Serve their family. Serve one another.
7. Coach them on how to respond.
8. Teach them how to apologize.  
9. Teach them to give thanks.

Yes, teaching and learning require courage and humility does matter. Whether we are teachers or students, we must learn to be self-reflective, critical of our personal beliefs and open to other's perspectives and ideas. As a teacher I must encourage the students like this, help when we can and don't expect rewards all the time for doing the right thing. We find activities we like and are good at but that doesn't mean we stop trying new things. The teacher listens to the students, respects, helps and encourages the students to try again after making mistakes.

Here is a story of a retired soldier, he and his wife became owners of an academy of "Martial Arts". He also teaches at local schools. His philosophy of serving is quickly evident to those who know him. "I work for my students ," he said. "My students do not work for me. I don't order people. Any activity comes from the heart of the students who have a thirst for knowledge, if I work for them, if I do the best job I can, their thirst for knowledge and training will be even greater ". "I like to plant seeds  and watch them grow". He further said that the most important thing, "I'm not teaching people for them to become another Bruce Lee. I am training them to become Champions in the society ." During one seminar his own teacher, Karate master, asked the students, "What do you do to be a nice person?". He told the class, "I wash dishes". The whole class had the vision of a 10th degree Karate master doing the dishes and got the message that this is a way to help the family. "It is about humility", said the Karate master. "That is the seed, then it grows into the rest of the society. He noted that the basics are crucial. "It is like building a house", he said. "If you don't have a good foundation, it does not matter how beautiful the castle, it will crumble. Build a good foundation, then add to it."

The message of this story is if a teacher is passionate about his/her students. He or she will alway ask them if they have  understood. Teacher is not the kind of person to take things at face value. Learning has to be logical. When the teacher teaches a technique, he or she also teaches why.  When someone understands why a technique works, retention will be better. The greatest part of teaching is seeing the changes in people. When children become more focussed. They do better at school. They do better at home or in the world.

- Girja Koul, is a teacher at the DBN Amarvilla School in Jammu, her email is gkl.av@dbntrust.in.