Empathise and Connect with high-risk Teenage Behaviour to address it.

Learning Forward Saturday

To understand and address high-risk teenage behaviour through empathy and connection.

Key Takeaways

• Teen behaviour is often biological rather than rebellious. The developing teen brain drives risk-taking, making empathy and education more effective than punishment.

• Punishment is counterproductive. Suspension and expulsion create “alienation”—the very isolation teens seek to escape—and worsen the problem.

• “Academic Connection” is the solution. This approach values student effort and problem-solving, creating a supportive environment that provides a natural “high” from success.

• Teachers are the frontline defence. By building trust and making learning engaging, they provide the “shelter of loved ones” that gives students the confidence to resist peer pressure.

Topics

The Problem: Volatile Substance Abuse (BSA)

• The session explored Volatile Substance Abuse (BSA), a serious, often fatal, health hazard.

• Definition: Deliberate inhalation of volatile solvents (e.g., diluters, nail polish remover, glue) for intoxication.

• Motivation: Driven by psychological factors, not physical addiction.

  • Peer pressure and the desire to belong

  • The thrill of risk-taking

  • A misguided attempt to gain attention

The Flawed Solution: Punishment & Alienation

• Punishment (detention, suspension, expulsion) is a counterproductive response to BSA.

• Rationale: It creates “alienation”—the isolation teens are trying to escape—and thus exacerbates the problem instead of solving it.

The Effective Solution: Empathy & Connection

• An empathetic approach, combined with strong parent-teacher collaboration, is required.

• “Academic Connection” (Alan Mendler): A key strategy that values student thoughts, problem-solving, and effort.

  • Outcome: Creates a positive learning environment where students feel enthused to face challenges.

• Teacher’s Role:

  • Build Trust: Create a “culture of trust and learning” to prevent students from seeking risky alternatives.

  • Engage Students: Make school experiences interesting and relevant to keep students engaged and feeling valued.

  • Provide a “Shelter”: Offer a supportive environment that gives students the confidence to say “no” to peer pressure.

Real-World Application & Teacher Reflections

• Rekha Sharma: Built a personal connection with a nervous student, helping them overcome fear and win a competition.

• Pratiksha Dhiman: Connects with students individually during notebook checks, creating a safe space for them to share problems.

• Sandeep Dutt: Shared a poem highlighting the teacher’s multifaceted role as a counsellor, confidant, and guide.

Next Steps

• Sneha: Share the following in the WhatsApp group:

  • The term “Academic Connection” and Alan Mendler’s book, Connecting with Students to Limit High-Risk Behaviours.

  • The quote on analysing behaviour rationally and finding scientific causes.

  • The link to the “Right vs. Wrong” chapter summary podcast.

• All Participants:

  • Research “Academic Connection” and share reflections in the WhatsApp group.

  • Share personal experiences of helping students overcome fear or alienation. 

FATHOM AI-generated 

Like vs Unlike and Teenage Challenges

Learning Forward Saturday

To read and discuss Chapter 5, Like vs Unlike on understanding and guiding teenagers, from Wanted Back-bencher & Last-ranker Teacher by Kavita Ghosh Key Takeaways Teenagers define identity through possessions (e.g., Apple, Prada) due to societal messaging (“you are what you own”), using brands to establish status and belonging. Peer pressure is driven by fear of isolation. Saying “no” risks exclusion and the painful loss of shared experiences, which can be more damaging than the negative behaviour itself. Adults can build connections with teens by listening, asking guiding questions, and setting a personal example, rather than lecturing or fighting their battles. Peer pressure can be transformed into “peer strength” by empowering students to take ownership of projects, turning collective influence into a force for high-quality work. Topics Teen Psychology: Materialism & Peer Pressure Core Driver: Identity Formation Teenagers use possessions to answer the question, “Who am I?” This focus on brands (e.g., True Religion, Rolex) can overshadow ethics and relationships. Peer Pressure: Fear of Isolation The primary driver is the fear of being excluded from the group. The pain of isolation and missing out on shared experiences is often a greater deterrent than the negative behaviour itself. Positive Transformation: Peer Strength Peer pressure can be channelled into a positive force. Example: A teacher’s class won a bulletin board competition three times by giving students full ownership of the project, which transformed peer pressure into a drive for excellence. Adult Strategies for Connection Listen: Create a safe space for teens to be heard without interruption. Ask Guiding Questions: Help teens find their own solutions by asking questions that prompt critical thinking. Example: “Do you think your friends are always right?” Set a Personal Example: Model healthy friendships and values to inspire teens. Don’t Fight Their Battles: Empower teens to solve their own problems by offering guidance rather than intervention. Chapter Context: Roma’s Personal Life The chapter opens with a phone call from Roma’s ex-fiancé, Ravi, who is resentful of her decision to adopt a child. Ravi’s derogatory comments about the child and the birth mother reveal a fundamental conflict in values. Roma ends the relationship, stating she cannot be with someone who disrespects women, upholding a core principle. This personal conflict provides a backdrop for the professional discussion on teen behaviour. Next Steps All Participants: Write a reflection on personal experiences with teenagers (at home or school) and how the chapter’s insights might have changed past approaches. All Participants: Share reflections next Saturday for group discussion. FATHOM AI-generated notes.

Humility and Appreciation - Rishona Chopra

Do you wish to rise?

Begin by descending.

Do you plan a tower that will pierce the clouds?

Lay first the foundation of humility.

Humility is that rare value that we hardly find in people today. Simple gestures like holding the door for someone else or picking up someone else's belongings show humility. It demonstrates that you do not consider these actions small or petty. Humility is not thinking less about yourself. Instead, it is about thinking of yourself as less. We don't have to stop thinking about ourselves, but we must stop thinking of ourselves as more significant than all because we are equal in many terms. We should treat others the way we wish to be treated. I believe in life, we all need to be humble, and it is the only way to peace, happiness, and success because humility is, after all, the mother of all virtues and beings. It is the supreme power. Humility is essential in the classroom; it teaches us to be able and kind to all around us, our peers and teachers.

And the same time, Appreciation is also a vital quality. Appreciating the little efforts done by our peers and students is essential. We each have something special about us, and instead of thinking just about ourselves, we should take the time to appreciate others. Who understands that better than our teachers? Teachers take particular time enjoying, helping, and thinking about their students. And I am sure we all can appreciate our teachers for the time they took to think about us. #Happy Teachers

Rishona Chopra Grade VI, Gyanshree School Intern at the My Good School National Office

Courage and Patience - Ahlcon Public School

Fearful child

A fearful child needs identification in the first place as they may appear as shy learners who are perfectly comfortable but choose to interact in a limited manner. So to deal with a fearful child, it is essential to first identify one.

The educator must tread carefully to build a rapport with the child. The child can be asked why he/she feels scared to interact and try to find a reason why the child behaves the way he /she behaves. 

It is essential to keep the parents informed and aware of what we are doing at school for the child. The child might be behaving in a completely different manner at home. In that case, the reason for a fearful approach in school should be found by talking to the child. If the child behaves fearfully at home, the cause has yet again to be adjudged. The behaviour of siblings, friends, bullying if any, parents attitude etc. has to be taken into account.

In school, very subtly, the child can be given responsibilities, which will give him confidence. Small efforts should be acknowledged and positively reinforced. The peer should be sensitized too.

Impatient child

Values are caught than taught. When in front of our students, we have to be consciously patient. By we, I mean both educators and parents. 

I have dealt with many impatient learners from classes 1 to 9. 

First and foremost, I set rules of classroom behaviour, both as a class teacher and subject teacher. It generally includes rules like 'raising a hand before speaking, 'not interrupting', and 'waiting for your turn.

Another technique is to have a one-on-one session with the child, sensitizing them about how others feel if he/she is constantly disrupting. Talk to him/her about respecting others' rights.

I will also talk to the parents. The atmosphere at home is essential. I will learn about the family dynamics and see where the child's behaviour is getting reinforced. I will tell the parents to patiently and consciously deal with the child.

In school, I will ensure even small attempts at being patient are acknowledged and positively reinforced.

Also, patience is a virtue that will be discussed in class. Students will be encouraged to discuss situations where they encountered impatient people and how they felt. The key is to internalize the value.

Mridula Renjit
Roopa Bhattacharyya
Ahlcon Public School
JOL Cohort 2022

Veena Solanki - My Good School

Veena's daughter studies at The Fabindia School, the nursery where My Good School took form. A school helps prepare us for life. Not only can we learn the basic skills to read, write, and do arithmetic but we can learn about peoples, places, and nature. My Good School empowers students by creating an environment for the personal and social development of an individual. Experiential learning is made possible through activities beyond just study, this brings to life learning that would otherwise be theoretical and uncoordinated. The idea of the children doing their own self-reflection, their being able to choose and work on what they love doing makes all the difference. My Good School helps build relationships and strengthens school culture, to further improve the learning outcomes and prepare children for life. Longingness for nature, helping attitude to her peers, excitement to look at the world with a new lens every day and head to school with a sense of belonging, all this has brought learning to real life.

Listen to the Story

Don't just do, talk too!

Untaboo is a company dedicated to Sex-Sexuality-Safety education.
It was launched in 2011 as ‘Out of the Box’. At that time, sex education was an out of the box idea, but in today's scenario it is a need; an urgent one!
However, there are still taboos surrounding it. We are a country of over a billion, so obviously we are indulging in sex – a lot of it! But the hesitations kick in only when we have to talk about it. These hesitations are what we at Untaboo hope to tackle and thus we have embarked on a mission to break those taboos and make sex education acceptable and accessible to all.

Because when we talk – we educate.
When we educate – we create responsibility.
When we create responsibility – change happens.

Be a part of the change – Be an Untabooer!
Make sex education a part of your child’s life.

Leading the untabooers is Anju Kish...

Anju Kish

Founder Director

UnTaboo Education

Mumbai

www.untaboo.in

www.anjukishblogs.com

https://www.linkedin.com/in/anjukish/ 

https://www.facebook.com/untabooers/

TEDx Talk: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ufaNQEVeaQg

How to talk to your child about sex! | https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/videos/lifestyle/parenting/how-to-talk-to-your-child-about-sex/videoshow/69026594.cms 

A short video of our work on Facebook-

https://www.facebook.com/untabooers/videos/464517644151302/?t=5 

The link to reading free sample chapters from my book is this - https://play.google.com/store/books/details/Anju_Kish_How_I_Got_My_Belly_Button?id=--qGDwAAQBAJ 

Hope & Friendship - Harmony BHIS

Friendship, a boon to life

“A friend gives hope when life is low, a friend is a place when you have nowhere to go, a friend is a mirror, and you can see yourself just by looking at him.” –the thought reverberated in his mind, he read it somewhere.

It was during monsoon in Mumbai. Though he had come from Hyderabad in the month of May when you could feel the fierce sun spread its might every nook and corner of this metropolitan city. During monsoon, contrast scenario can be witnessed. Mother Nature soothes all her elements with her gentle shower and spreads green carpets all over.

“Rohan”, he heard the voice from the threshold of his room. He was sitting at the study table putting his back towards the door. He looked back and saw his mother holding a plate of snacks for him.

“Yes, mother” he stood up to take the plate from her hand. 

Archana, his mother, came forward, “I wanted to know something from you, Rohan.” She continued, “After you recovered from your illness, I could see some changes in you. Always you are lost in your own world and you don’t have any interest to attend the school. May I know why it is so?” Archana looked at her son anxiously.

Eventually, Rohan shared everything with his mother. He was completely dejected, lost his enthusiasm to speak. But somehow his mother could make out his each and every word. It happened like this, as he had to cover many topics done during his absenteeism, he asked for the help of his peers. But his friends were not willing to help him at all. He requested everyone but in vain. Gradually, he started feeling lonely in the class. He was repenting on his haughty temperament towards his friends. He had understood the importance of ‘Friendship’ when he was in need. He understood that friendship is a relationship of mutual affections between people. Friendship is the strongest interpersonal bond that needs trust, love, care, empathy, forgiveness and mutual understanding to flourish. He was lucky to have many caring and loving friends around but he didn't value them. He hoped to go back in time and settle everything but that's not possible.

Archana told him while leaving his room, “Request your class teacher, she will help you undoubtedly. Keep hope, everything will be smooth.”

Once again he was in his deep thought.

Rohan took admission in the midterm of the session. He had shifted from another city so everything was new to him, but he managed to adjust to the changes soon. He comes from a very well to do family. Every day he used to take fancy stationery items as well as food items to impress his peers. He was good in studies as well as in sports, so very soon he became the popular face of the school. All these appreciations and limelight turned him into a self-conceited boy. Soon it started reflecting in his behaviour. He became rude and insensitive towards his classmates. He often insulted them. Though his peers were not revolting visibly, they started distancing from him. But Rohan paid no heed to the situation and continued harassing his friends in one way or other.

Once because of his fever, he was not able to attend his school for almost three weeks. When he went back to school, he realized the transition that had already been taken place in him and in the class.

Then he was not going to think further on this issue as he had a headache since afternoon, it was seven o’clock in the evening when he went to bed with a storybook. He tried to divert his mind, his mother was right; he would approach his class teacher the next day.

 At that moment, the only ray of hope for him to get out of this situation was his teacher. So he gathered all his courage the next day and went to his teacher and narrated the entire incidents. He did not forget to apologize for his misbehaviour.

The following day, the teacher decided to have a group discussion on how positive thinking and forgiveness would give us new hope in life. Through the ideas generated by the students themselves, the teacher made them understand the agony of Rohan and the mistake they were going to do. Finally, the entire class understood the power of kindness and forgiveness and also the need for a good friend in their life. They all promised the teacher that they would be the light of hope for each other and would take care of each other.

Now Rohan is well accepted by everyone and now he is a changed person who is always ready to help others.

Friends are those who will pick you up when no one even noticed you have fallen.

Harmony @ Billabong High International School, Thane 

- Abira Chakraborty, Pooja Khona, Bhumika Ailsinghani, Rajshri Rane, Soniya Kuril, Poonam Choudhary, Kavita Shetty

HOPE AND FRIENDSHIP - Penta BHIS

              HOPE
                    &
            FRIENDSHIP 





Chitra was forced to face a life of utter hopelessness after her divorce. Her world had turned upside down and all those people she had considered friends were not, in reality, her friends. She had dedicated her life to her family, now it had come to nothing.

Of course, it was not all ‘nothing’. She still had Jeet, her only son. He had been a very bright youngster with immense promise. However, his parents’ acrimonious relationship had also taken a toll on Jeet. He was no longer full of cheer, his confidence had taken a beating and naturally, it showed in his relations with his peers in class. With his parents’ divorce, life in Mumbai was no longer possible. His mother was emotionally shattered, and now she would have to return to her own parental hometown in Rajasthan. She was merely a graduate and could barely see the way ahead. Adding to the trouble was the fact that Jeet had just come to Grade 10. How could he move to an unknown town and school at this crucial juncture in his life?

Lifeworks in strange ways. Jeet had always been drawn to his Class Teacher’s compassion and quirky sense of humour. Ms. Iyer was always ‘there’ for anyone who needed her. Jeet, overwhelmed by the thought of losing everything in his world, confided in Ms. Iyer. She heard him out, her heartbreaking at the anguish in one so young, and decided to play an active role in his crisis. She assured him that he had no need to move elsewhere as he was welcome to stay at her place till the Board examination was over and done with. The offer came as a boon to Chitra and Jeet. They could not believe that they could count on a school teacher in what was such a significant moment in their lives.

Chitra moved to her parents’ home, to recover mentally and socially from her personal trauma.  Jeet was made to feel as comfortable as possible by Ms. Iyer in her home. Hope floated back into his life. His friends stood by him – not one of whom asked him about his personal life. They would be around if he wished to talk about it. The months grew wings and flew despite the drama in human lives.

Having taken the exams, Jeet went to stay with his mother in Rajasthan. Meanwhile, Chitra had contacted her alma mater. The school Principal was kind and offered her a position in the Junior section of the school. Motivated by the words of the Principal of her former school, Chitra decided to pursue a teaching course while working as a co-teacher in the Primary Section. She was apprehensive as she had no work experience. Egged on by hope, she went ahead and joined the course and was also appointed for the part-time job. This gave her some pocket money, slowly enabling her to look around for people who she could relate to.

The results of the Board examinations gave Chitra-Jeet-Ms. Iyer a great deal to celebrate about. Whatever may be Jeet’s achievements in life, the one lesson he has truly imbibed is to never lose hope and to always extend a hand of friendship to someone, who needs it the most. The rest in life will follow – as the day follows the night.

Penta @ Billabong International High School, Thane

- Jeeji Sanjeev, Sanika Joshi, Arpita M.G., Muskaan Menda, Radhika Anand, Supriya Naravankar & Bhavani Swamy.

Courage and Patience - Harmony BHIS

Courage and Patience Reinforces Tenacity

“I believe that you can; of course, you can,” the teacher muttered reflexively as she looked deep into his eyes that mirrored the very depths of the ocean.

Yes, he is the true epitome of clarity, firmness and perfection. He confronts all challenges with his perseverance. Rohit always maintains his scores in academics. In Grade-IX too, he proved himself by earning the best scorer record. His journey was not at all a bed of roses. He treats ‘Patience’ as the companion of his wisdom and ‘Courage’ as the weapon to endure every situation.

As we know, our classroom is a miniature society, where we deal with many different minds and mindsets. Some are bold, some shy, or courageous while some are timid. His peers leave no stone unturned to comment on him but he always handles those tactfully, by turning deaf ears. Moreover, punctuality is an indispensable trait of Rohit. It is a foundation, not an embellishment for him.

It was time for selecting students to the student council. After a great deal of scrutiny, the names were forwarded. At the same time, there was a great deal of speculation among the students. “Rohit’s name will be forwarded, undoubtedly,” Riya said to her friend, Swapna, who sat beside her.

“Of course, he is the favourite of all,” Swapna responded meaningfully, glancing at Rohit.

The teacher could foresee the reactions of the other children present in the class. As usual, Rohit was indifferent to all those remarks.

Persistently Rohit cleared all the levels of testing as he inched closer to becoming a member of the student council. However, in what seemed to be a bolt from the blue, he did not make it in the final selection.

Predictably, no heartbreaks or overwhelming articulation of emotions came from Rohit. He seemed stoical in dealing with an adverse situation.

“Rohit, how do you feel about this result?” the teacher asked, perplexed at the youngster's calm and composed demeanour despite the defeat.

“Its fine, Ma’am! ... I am okay with everything. It’s all a part of life.” It was indeed a courageous answer from a school-goer like Rohit. He showed true mastery over his emotions as he had realised that despite his talent he lacked the power of charming others through the use of captivating words. This wisdom was beyond his years and can rarely be seen in the children of his generation. For him, success was not final, failure was not fatal; what mattered was the patience to continue.

During the Investiture Ceremony, the teacher witnessed the peak of his acceptance when he was assigned the role of an anchor. He worked tirelessly to write the script and he was on his toes to follow instructions. Once again he seized the attention of the audience and the guests. Being one of the most deserving candidates of the student council, he was neither sceptical about his actual role in school nor felt any regret over that event. Importantly, he did not grudge the success of his peers as they were called to the podium and felicitated - an honour that he had certainly coveted. Looking at his set countenance, the teacher saw his patient acceptance, without bitterness, confident in his conviction that its fruit will be sweet for him one day. 

Courage and patience are two fundamental attributes to achieve success. Both are complementary to each other. Courage does not mean being physically strong. As we have seen in the case of Rohit, courage means examining the situations or resources patiently and acting to rightfully achieve the goal. Sometimes, it is necessary to overcome our fears by taking risks to achieve success and careful examination of the situation will certainly gather the courage for the same.

Harmony @ Billabong High International School, Thane 
- Abira Chakraborty, Pooja Khona, Bhumika Ailsinghani, Rajshri Rane, Soniya Kuril, Poonam Choudhary, Kavita Shetty

Happiness and Tolerance - Innovators BHIS

Simple things can be turn around point for innocent lives. Being tolerant teaches us to accommodate everyone no matter how they are, thus, bringing forth the feeling of sheer happiness.

Ryan happened to be the tiniest child in the class as far as his stature was concerned. He was not only small in size but also needed special attention and individual assistance. Every day he would come to school in his father's auto-rickshaw whereas, most of his classmates came in their chauffeur-driven cars. Children in the class would derive some fun at the cost of hurting Ryan’s sentiments. As children would like to enjoy with friends of their age, so did Ryan want to enjoy with his classmates. As luck would have it, each time he joined them in some activity, he would face disappointment and get back to his place. Ryan did not take much interest in his studies yet one subject which really interested him was Geography. He would be excited to attend the Geography lessons. 

To make Ryan feel more included in the class, the teacher decided to conduct a quiz on topics from Geography lessons. The winning team would be congratulated by the Principal during the assembly time. When the class was divided into groups, Ryan's group was visibly unhappy to have him with them. Ryan could not express his excitement seeing the reaction of his teammates. The class was all geared up when they were leaving for the day. When Ryan was leaving the class, he turned around to look at the teacher with expectant eyes. She smiled and said "All the best, Ryan...it will be your day tomorrow!' He smiled back and left. 

Next day, as the quiz started, to everyone's surprise, not only did Ryan answer all questions thrown at his group correctly but also answered a few bonus questions. Finally, Ryan's team won the quiz and his teammates simply picked him up in the air and cheered for him. The smile on Ryan's face and sparkle in his eyes, after that win, was worth more than a million-dollar! All the students of the class started asking Ryan to be in their team next time a quiz is held in the class. They had all become a big team, tolerant of each other. They were happy to be just friends.

Innovators @ Billabong High International School Thane

-Bhumi Punjabi, Vaishali Pathak, Krishnakshi Ravishonkar, Smita Bhobate