Sneha on how alienation can affect young people

Right vs Wrong, reading from Wanted Back-bencher & Last-ranker Teacher by Kavita Ghosh

After reading the chapter with Sandeep Sir, I reflected a lot on how alienation can affect people, especially students and teenagers. I feel that when someone is punished through detention, suspension, or expulsion, it can sometimes make them feel even more disconnected rather than understood. I think alienation becomes harmful because when people stop feeling connected to others or even to themselves, they begin searching for ways to escape their emotions instead of understanding them.

I have personally seen people around me of my age who constantly want to escape their reality instead of facing it. I have noticed how some people never really sit with themselves or understand what they are feeling. Instead, they try to run away from emotions through smoking, drugs, or other harmful habits, often because of peer pressure, stress, loneliness, or the desire to feel accepted. At first, it may seem like fun or a way to bond with friends, but over time, I have seen how it affects them physically and mentally. Some people around me smoke so regularly that even walking for a long time becomes difficult for them. They struggle with stamina and cannot even climb a short mountain path without getting exhausted or breathless. Seeing this has made me realise how temporary escapes can slowly take away a person’s health, energy, and connection with themselves.

At the same time, I have also realised how important personal and social development is. I believe that having healthy bonds, meaningful relationships, and activities that help us grow can protect us from feeling isolated. When people feel accepted and connected in a healthy way, they are less likely to depend on harmful habits to feel a sense of belonging. Personally, I try to focus on hobbies and self-growth instead of escaping my emotions. I engage in creative activities and things that help me grow personally while also connecting with people socially in meaningful ways. For me, hobbies and personal development are healthier ways of coping because they help me understand myself better instead of avoiding reality. This chapter on right versus wrong made me रियलाइज  that true connection, both with ourselves and with others, can help us deal with struggles in a much healthier way.

- Sneha, an intern at EBD in Dehradun, supported by the Learning Forward India Foundation.

Empathise and Connect with high-risk Teenage Behaviour to address it.

Learning Forward Saturday

To understand and address high-risk teenage behaviour through empathy and connection.

Key Takeaways

• Teen behaviour is often biological rather than rebellious. The developing teen brain drives risk-taking, making empathy and education more effective than punishment.

• Punishment is counterproductive. Suspension and expulsion create “alienation”—the very isolation teens seek to escape—and worsen the problem.

• “Academic Connection” is the solution. This approach values student effort and problem-solving, creating a supportive environment that provides a natural “high” from success.

• Teachers are the frontline defence. By building trust and making learning engaging, they provide the “shelter of loved ones” that gives students the confidence to resist peer pressure.

Topics

The Problem: Volatile Substance Abuse (BSA)

• The session explored Volatile Substance Abuse (BSA), a serious, often fatal, health hazard.

• Definition: Deliberate inhalation of volatile solvents (e.g., diluters, nail polish remover, glue) for intoxication.

• Motivation: Driven by psychological factors, not physical addiction.

  • Peer pressure and the desire to belong

  • The thrill of risk-taking

  • A misguided attempt to gain attention

The Flawed Solution: Punishment & Alienation

• Punishment (detention, suspension, expulsion) is a counterproductive response to BSA.

• Rationale: It creates “alienation”—the isolation teens are trying to escape—and thus exacerbates the problem instead of solving it.

The Effective Solution: Empathy & Connection

• An empathetic approach, combined with strong parent-teacher collaboration, is required.

• “Academic Connection” (Alan Mendler): A key strategy that values student thoughts, problem-solving, and effort.

  • Outcome: Creates a positive learning environment where students feel enthused to face challenges.

• Teacher’s Role:

  • Build Trust: Create a “culture of trust and learning” to prevent students from seeking risky alternatives.

  • Engage Students: Make school experiences interesting and relevant to keep students engaged and feeling valued.

  • Provide a “Shelter”: Offer a supportive environment that gives students the confidence to say “no” to peer pressure.

Real-World Application & Teacher Reflections

• Rekha Sharma: Built a personal connection with a nervous student, helping them overcome fear and win a competition.

• Pratiksha Dhiman: Connects with students individually during notebook checks, creating a safe space for them to share problems.

• Sandeep Dutt: Shared a poem highlighting the teacher’s multifaceted role as a counsellor, confidant, and guide.

Next Steps

• Sneha: Share the following in the WhatsApp group:

  • The term “Academic Connection” and Alan Mendler’s book, Connecting with Students to Limit High-Risk Behaviours.

  • The quote on analysing behaviour rationally and finding scientific causes.

  • The link to the “Right vs. Wrong” chapter summary podcast.

• All Participants:

  • Research “Academic Connection” and share reflections in the WhatsApp group.

  • Share personal experiences of helping students overcome fear or alienation. 

FATHOM AI-generated 

Right vs Wrong, how do we handle teenage challenges - Part 1

Learning Forward Saturday

To read and discuss a chapter from “Wanted Back-bencher, Last-ranker Teacher,” chapter 6, Right vs Wrong.

Key Takeaways

• Proactive Intervention: Roma’s calm, immediate rescue of four intoxicated students from a dangerous club prevented harm, demonstrating decisive teacher responsibility.

• Empathetic Guidance: Roma guided the students’ safe exit with clear, empowering instructions (“Hold your head high”) rather than scolding, building trust and respect.

• Collaborative Resolution: The school’s mature response—a private meeting with only Roma and the counsellor—protected the students from intimidation and focused on support.

• AI for Professional Growth: Sandeep introduced an AI assistant to generate summaries and allow teachers to ask questions about their own contributions, promoting self-reflection.

Topics

Teacher Reflections & Context

• The session began with a reflection from Sunita Tripathi on the “Like vs. Unlike” chapter.

• Sunita’s Experience:

  • Problem: Peer pressure led to mocking, causing emotional distress among students.

  • Solution: Sunita used calm dialogue to explain the difference between joking and insulting. A class discussion and group activity on positive words transformed the atmosphere.

  • Lesson: Patience and positive guidance are crucial for helping adolescents learn from mistakes.

• Related Book Session: Sandeep promoted the Thursday 5:30 PM session for “Every Last Girl” by Safina Husain, which covers the “Educate Girls” initiative.

Chapter 6: Right vs. Wrong

• The Incident:

  • Roma received a panicked call from student Rupa.

  • Four girls (Rupa, Simmi, Supriya, Patricia) were at “Club Paradise.”

  • Simmi was heavily intoxicated (“tipsy”) from beer and a neat vodka shot.

• Roma’s Response:

  • Roma immediately drove to the club with her father, Sunil.

  • She entered the smoky, crowded club alone to find the girls.

  • She gave clear, empowering instructions for their exit: “Keep your back straight... Hold your head high.”

  • When a man grabbed Simmi, Roma, a black belt, punched him to create an escape route.

• Aftermath & Resolution:

  • The girls were driven home; Simmi stayed at Roma’s house.

  • Simmi’s home situation (separated parents, caregiver only) was revealed as a potential factor.

  • Roma informed the girls that their parents would be contacted, framing it as support rather than punishment.

  • School’s Mature Handling: The principal arranged a private meeting with only Roma and the counsellor (Uttera) to avoid intimidating the parents.

AI Assistant for Professional Development

• Sandeep introduced an AI assistant to enhance learning and professional growth.

• Functionality:

  • Provides session summaries, key takeaways, and screenshots.

  • Allows teachers to ask questions about their own contributions, promoting self-reflection.

• Purpose: To use AI for genuine learning and skill development, not for academic shortcuts.

Next Steps

• All Participants: Write a reflection on Chapter 6, focusing on how the story influenced your thinking and how you might apply its lessons in your classroom.

• All Participants: Send reflections to Manisha.

• All Participants: Join the Thursday 5:30 PM session for “Every Last Girl” if interested.

• All Participants: Use the AI assistant link (in Zoom chat) for summaries and self-reflection.

• All Participants: Join the “Saturday 3 PM” WhatsApp group via the link in the Zoom chat.

• All Participants: Attend next week’s session to continue reading Chapter 6.

FATHOM AI-generated notes.

Right Vs Worng

"Nurturing Trust, Building Futures: Every Teen's Journey Matters"

The adolescent years represent one of the most complex and crucial phases of human development. During this period, young minds are like intricate puzzles being assembled - their physical growth, emotional development, and cognitive abilities are all evolving simultaneously, yet not always in perfect synchronization. This developmental disparity often creates a communication gap that can be challenging for both adults and teenagers to bridge.

The teenage brain, particularly the prefrontal cortex responsible for decision-making and impulse control, continues to develop well into the early twenties. Their actions often stem from experimentation and immediate gratification rather than careful consideration of future implications. This natural tendency toward experimentation, while essential for personal growth, can sometimes lead them into challenging or potentially dangerous situations.

Parents and educators must recognize that these behavioural patterns aren't simply acts of rebellion but are intrinsically linked to developmental processes. Just as a gardener understands that each plant has its growing season and unique needs, adults in supervisory roles must appreciate that teenage behaviour, however perplexing, is part of a natural developmental journey. This understanding should inform our responses to their actions and guide our intervention strategies.

The role of observation becomes paramount during these formative years. Parents who notice subtle changes in their child's behaviour - perhaps a sudden shift in sleeping patterns, unexpected mood swings, or variations in social interactions - should view these as important signals rather than immediate causes for alarm. Similarly, teachers, who spend significant time with students, are uniquely positioned to notice behavioural changes that might escape parents' attention. These could include alterations in academic performance, classroom participation, or peer relationships.

However, mere observation isn't enough. The key lies in building and maintaining trust. When adolescents feel they have reliable adult figures who understand and accept them without immediate judgment, they're more likely to open up about their challenges and seek guidance when needed. This trust-building process requires patience, consistency, and genuine interest in their lives.

The concept of rebellion during adolescence isn't simply a manifestation of defiance. Often, it's an expression of their developing identity and autonomy. When combined with peer pressure - a powerful force during these years - it can lead young people to make choices that conflict with their better judgment. This is where the strength of established trust becomes crucial. A teenager who trusts their parents or teachers is more likely to seek their counsel when facing difficult decisions or after making mistakes.

Creating this environment of trust requires a delicate balance. Adults must show they're available and supportive while respecting teenagers' growing need for independence. This might mean:

Maintaining open lines of communication without being intrusive

Showing genuine interest in their activities and opinions

Offering guidance without being controlling

Acknowledging their growing maturity while still providing necessary boundaries

Responding to mistakes with understanding rather than harsh judgment

Prevention is always better than intervention, but when intervention becomes necessary, it should be handled with sensitivity and understanding. If a student begins showing signs of moving in a concerning direction, the approach should be one of support rather than criticism. This might involve:

Having private, non-confrontational conversations

Showing empathy while expressing concern

Working together to identify underlying issues

Developing collaborative solutions that respect their autonomy

Maintaining confidentiality unless safety requires otherwise

It's essential to remember that the goal isn't to control teenagers but to guide them toward making better decisions independently. This guidance should help them develop critical thinking skills and emotional intelligence that will serve them throughout their lives.

The success of any intervention largely depends on the foundation of trust built during calmer times. When students know they have adults in their lives who genuinely care about their wellbeing and respect their growing independence, they're more likely to accept guidance during difficult periods.

"In the delicate dance of adolescent development, our role isn't to lead or follow, but to walk beside them - close enough to support when needed, yet far enough to let them find their own path to maturity."

Ankit Khare

Sunbeam School Sarnath

Freedom and Peace - Rishona Chopra

Freedom as we know, of course, is the joy of feeling free & and doing what we want, to simply have freedom. We can do what we want, but freedom has its own limits. It's not that we cut the wings on the bird, but it's like a summer-adapted bird goes to Antarctica. Can it? It might die... Similarly, freedom is to have the initial and foremost rights and the right to do good deeds, not bad ones.

When someone says, "you are not good at drawing at all. I am much better." These things hurt us, and then when people say things that hurt us, they capture our thoughts. We usually start criticizing ourselves. Their thoughts about us capture our thoughts. What people say about us is not necessarily who we are. 

We are who we think we are, so if we start thinking about ourselves as someone else thinks, our thoughts are not free. We are not free at all. So people can say what they want to, of course, if they say something we must see if what they are saying is true but if not then don't think about what they say because if your mind doesn't have free thoughts, then you are not free and if you are not free then how will you be happy and if you are not satisfied then how will you feel peace and if you have no peace then you don't have a wonderful, happy and peaceful life. And I'm sure all of us want a happy life. Don't we?

Freedom in the classroom is quite essential; the Montessori teaching style aims to make the child more thoughtful and independent. Freedom for thought and doing. In the book "Lord Of The Flies" a group of boys are left alone on an island for the first few days the enjoy, but after a few days, they need someone to guide them. So freedom doesn't just depend on you but the proper process with which we need some guidance.

Freedom and peace are pretty related; peace starts when space starts. Peace, in my opinion, is something you can't describe. It's a feeling of pleasure, satisfaction, fulfilment and joy. Peace is freedom from the noise in our minds. Today let us pledge, "Let there be peace on Earth, and let it begin with me". "The more in harmony with yourself, the more joyful you are, and the more faithful you are. Faith does not disconnect you from reality; it connects you to reality." — Paulo Coelho Rishona Chopra Grade VI Gyanshree School