Happiness and Tolerance - Welham Boys' School

Reflection pieces 

1. An Unhappy Student

A while back, I came across this “unhappy student”, who I want to stay anonymous, so let’s call him X; clearly, the math teacher in me never fails to keep hidden. X’s parents recently separated, and he was living with his father, stepmother, and a step-sister who was almost as old as him.

X used to come around like a miserable, troubled kid who preferred to stay alone. He often cried and complained that he didn’t have friends and wanted to go home. Repeatedly refused to have food and acted stubborn as he was pampered by his grandparents at home. After discussing with his parents, we learned the scenario and that he felt unwanted and unloved because he was sent off to a boarding school whilst his stepsister wasn’t. Whereas his father just wanted him to have a better future, a higher sense of independence and self-awareness. Instead, his parent’s divorce created emotional turmoil and insecurity for him.

I felt the best way of overcoming this emotional barrier was through communication and creating an atmosphere where he felt wanted and comfortable sharing his feelings. That was not enough; we had to channel his energy into different things so that he could get distracted and becomes emotionally healthy again. We enrolled him in several activities like guitar and vocal music, which were his interests. That opened up various opportunities to perform on stage and build up confidence.

Love, care, patience, and empathy have made him a happier kid than he was initially. He has not opened up about his feelings yet, but I respect that and give him space, to grow more confident and content and time to reflect upon himself. It wasn’t just me battling against his emotional demons. It wouldn’t be a fair fight; it was a united team effort of the House-Mother, teachers, tutor, House-Masters, and parents, who did everything to mend and give direction to him.

2. An Intolerant Student 

Bob Keeshan was right when he said, “Parents are the ultimate role models for children. Every word, every movement, and action affects. No other person or outside force has a greater influence on a child than a parent.”

Children who witness violence between parents may also be at greater risk of being violent in their future relationships, and it becomes a part of their personality. I had seen such a case myself. 

Keeping the kids’ identity hidden and calling him Y, he had joined the school on a particular recommendation in the middle of the term, which was very unlikely. That was enough to draw attention to him, but he still managed to do that, as he used to hit and abuse other kids. He was a challenging child and had significant anger issues. By addressing this issue and taking the parents in the loop, we discovered that Y’s behaviour resulted from the domestic violence that used to take place at his house. 

The school took this sensitive matter very seriously, and firstly, his hostel was changed until he was comfortable and settled. Secondly, they changed the faculty that dealt with him to those staff members who knew and understood the matter in depth. Everyone showed patience and calmness, which slowly changed him, and even a little of his good behaviour was encouraged and appreciated. 

His way to cope with his anger was to hit people, i.e., he let his feelings out ‘physically’; now, our challenge was to channel his anger and frustration and give it direction. Thirdly, we introduced him to drums; this turned out as an excellent escape for him, gave him something to focus on, distracted him and in the end, he turned out to be one of the best drummers and became an asset to the school. 

During all this, Y was regularly undergoing professional counselling offered by the school, which helped him deal with his behavioural issues and anger management. 

After a slow, steady progress and baby steps over 5 years, we successfully taught Y how to make friends, manage his anger, balance his studies and lastly, WE transformed him from an intolerant student to a ‘tolerable’ one.

Neelima Parmar, Vandana Sahay & Monika Gupta
JOL Cohort 2022

Humility - Prerna Rathod

Humility means being humble. You respect others and are always down to earth. It is one of the important values which helps us to build our character. When a person is humble, he is loving, caring, helpful, patient towards others while dealing with them. He will always think of others and do what is good for them. He will never be angry with anyone or will never make fun of others or laugh at them. He will be empathetic towards others and do what is best for them and understand others' feelings. A humble person will never have an ego problem. He will always remain happy in good or bad situations. 

As Educator, it is our duty that we should try to teach students to be humble and teach them its importance. This value will help them to be sensitive towards the society and environment. Thus, it will help to build a good society. He will be a good citizen of our country. This will help him to take the correct decisions in life and be successful. Humility helps us to build different values, which are an essential part of life. Each one of us must be humble in our life to lead a better and happy life.

Prerna Rathod 
The Fabindia School 
prd@fabindiaschools.in

Humility - Manisha Deora

Courtesy: fordhaminstitute.com

Humility is the state of being humble. It is a virtue. It is the quality of keeping one’s self under control. It is the opposite of being proud. A person who possesses this quality is humble and meek. A humble person is the master of himself. He is not stubborn. He is ready to accept other people’s advice and learn from their experience. He is not annoyed with anybody. A proud person gets angry easily when something offends him. 

A humble person does not get angry easily. He admits his mistakes and shortcomings politely. A proud person does not admit his faults easily. He gets annoyed and blames others for his own mistakes. A proud person is stubborn and angry. He does not value another person’s suggestions and ideas. We must make our children humble in life because it spreads harmony among people. Humility makes a person more sensitive to understand other situations. So first we have to be humble towards children if we want them to be humble with others.

Courtesy Source: 

https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/

Manisha Deora

The Fabindia School

mde@fabindiaschools.in

Happy Teachers' Day - Manish Jaiswal

The birth date of the second President of India, Sarvepalli Radhakrishnan, 5 September, is

celebrated as Teachers' Day since 1962, the year when Dr Radhakrishnan assumed the post of the President of India.

He was the country's former President, scholar, philosopher and Bharat Ratna awardee.

Teachers' Day is actually a celebration to acknowledge the hardship, challenges and the unparalleled role that the teachers play in our lives.

On this day, teachers and students report to school as usual but the usual activities and classes are replaced by activities of celebration, thanks and remembrance.

Qualities of teacher towards students

Sensitive 

Responsible

Forvision

Punctual

Inspiring/Motivating.

Qualities of a student towards teacher

Attentive

Disciplined

Active

Ready to follow

Hard work

Eager to learn

No doubt, a teacher always saves the effort of a student in gaining success.

We should always follow the teachings of our teacher because the teacher has already gone through the way at which we want to run.

Using his experience we can protect our self from unnecessary failures or daily encountering confusions in our daily mode of working.

By following our teacher our destination seems to be more near in less course of time without the wastage of our efforts.

Manish Jaiswal 

The Fabindia School

mjl@fabindiaschools.in

Importance of Fair Play - RP Devgan

In all my years as a Principal and an educator, I have taken great care to make sure that educators at all levels are very sensitive and conscientious about fair play and justice. Children must be treated fairly, especially in their last two years in school when their efforts start to bear fruit in terms of leadership and talent.

The injustice of any kind is unacceptable, be it in the form of nepotism, favouritism, or sheer high handedness.

It is a pity when educators at all levels right from the top to the junior-most concerned, favour the undeserving and cause bitterness and frustration to the deserving ones.

Educators have to be very sensitive and thoughtful when it comes to school appointments and awards every year. The deserving must get their due. Ever so often even in the best of schools, injustice is done during the appointments of school prefects, sports and activities captains and nomination of awards for the Best Debater, Artist, Actor etc.

I remember at one of the schools I headed, the Best Artist’s prize had been awarded to a boy who was nowhere near the best. I  had to intervene and finally convince the Art Teacher that a girl in the same class was far more deserving. He agreed but said that the Founder’s Day list was already at the printer’s and it was too late, but I persisted. it was finally decided that the prize would be shared, saving the girl from bitterness and frustration. Had this not happened, she would have graduated with bitter memories of her school life.

This kind of injustice can be stopped by conscientious and sensitive educators. The worst kind of nepotism in a school is when staff members favour their own and when the educators try to please influential parents.

It is imperative for educators to realise the gravity of their decisions as such decisions leave lifelong feelings of bitterness and scars in the deserving ones, the ones who have been overlooked and their talents and competence ignored. Unfair decisions make the atmosphere of a school most toxic. It would be interesting if today's adults paused and asked themselves how they were treated in school or their experience of justice and injustice in their schooldays.

I am sure even today some of them nurse scars inflicted on them in their school life and the bitterness and frustration still linger. This too happens when Managements of schools overlook the deserving and appoint people in top positions, including  Principals, through nepotism, lack of advice or sheer ignorance and complacency. Many such appointments have changed the history of institutions.

Justice and Fair Play should be the hallmark of every school and institution for the security and happiness of its individuals. It should become the culture of all schools.

-Rajinder Pal Devgan
Chairperson Learning Forward India, over five decades of experience as an Educationist and having served as a School Leader for schools in India and overseas.