Here's How Can We Teach Kids Compassion - Pinkee Chouhan

We all want our children to be kind and have compassion in their minds.  But the biggest question here is how to teach compassion, kindness to the child.  Children develop different levels of empathy at different ages.  Compassion and kindness require the development of heart for human behaviour.  We should keep talking to the children on this subject continuously. 

The thing about children is that if they see kindness and compassion in our behaviour, they will behave the same way.  We will have to make many efforts for the development of sympathy.  Take the help of children to take care of any sick animal or bird.  Teach them to show empathy.  Encourage children to help someone in need.  Explain to the child why we should be sympathetic towards others.  If any classmate of the child is sick or injured, some person is poor or needy, some person is old or disabled, some animal is ill or hungry, then encourage the child to help, which will develop empathy and compassion.  And feelings of kindness will be infused in him.

The best way for kids to learn compassion is through watching models of this behaviour. Their teachers, parents, and other adults need to behave this way for children to see it as valuable and find approval in copying it. Finding compassion in moments of adversity is a skill that all adults should be working on mastering. The future generation depends on it.

Pinkee Chauhan

The FabIndia School

pco@fabindiaschools.in

Thoughtfulness and Understanding - Sandhya Thadani

Thoughtfulness and understanding are two interrelated and interdependent values. 

To be thoughtful positively in any tiring situation can be very challenging. It is said as you think, your actions will follow accordingly. Being thoughtful is a positive attitude that has to be cultivated slowly as one develops stamina by practising rigorously. When positive thoughts and images surround us, our understanding and response to the demanding situation will be very different. 

Our mind should be filled up with positive thoughts all the time, such as cooking, cleaning, studying, walking etc. From morning till night, our thoughts should be corrected. Only with this attitude will our true self come forward, and our understanding of the situation will be deep and unjudgmental. 

By being thoughtful with a positive attitude, life becomes inspiring and meaningful. 

It all starts with a positive thought!

The following are the three tools I would like to use to inculcate empathy. 

1. Stories: Stories are a powerful means to develop values. By sharing experiences, it gives ideas when put into other people’s narratives. It triggers emotions, and one can identify with the stories. 

2. Reflection activities: When a student knows that the teacher is listening, not judging and is open to conversation, it gives a new perspective to both sides. Connection is made, trust is built, and creative ideas flow in. 

3. Sub-group activities: It is one of the ways when a child could be connected to feel empathy. We can provide experiences of values and emotions and the means to deal with them. The teacher can watch the emotions dispassionately and then choose to give her feedback wherever it is necessary. 

• Enacting Situations: Giving the children situations and creating a conscious story around. By imitating empathy, they will learn to empathize with others. 

• Collective games: Playing collective games is very important. It helps to develop character. Suppose a child is playing basketball; the child learns to play in a team and learns to control his emotions. Outbursts, screaming and playing foul games would not be tolerated by his peers and by his teachers. Next time when his peer will miss his catch, he will be sensitive and encouraging. “Don’t worry, you would succeed next time”. 

• Music and Dance: This is one of the best ways to develop empathy and other emotions. Singing meaningful songs and learning any form of classical dance can help bring the best out of a child. 

Developing empathy 

This is a picture from an article called “The Rescuing Hug.” The article details the first week of the life of a set of twins. Apparently, each was in their respective incubators, and one was not expected to live. A hospital nurse fought against hospital rules and placed the babies in one incubator. When they were placed together, the healthier of the two threw an arm over her sister in an endearing embrace. The smaller baby’s heart rate stabilized, and her temperature rose to normal. 

Kyrie and Brielle Jackson were born on 17 October 1995 at the Massachusetts Memorial Hospital in Worcester, MA. Each of the twins weighed two pounds at birth. Though Kyrie was putting on a bit of weight in the days following her arrival, Brielle was not doing well. She cried a great deal, leaving her gasping and blue-faced. Brielle was having a terrible day. NICU (Newborn Intensive Care Unit) nurse Gayle Kasparian tried everything to calm her. She held her. She had her dad hold her. She wrapped her in a blanket. She suctioned her nose. Nothing worked. 

Then, she remembered hearing about a procedure done in Europe. She put Brielle in the incubator with her sister Kyrie. Almost immediately, Brielle snuggled up to Kyrie. Her blood-oxygen saturation levels, which had been frighteningly low, soared. She began to breathe more easily. The frantic crying stopped, and her normal pinkish colour quickly returned. Over the next weeks, her health improved steadily in her new, less lonely quarters. 

Although it’s impossible to say whether Brielle’s recovery was wholly or primarily due to the healing touch of her twin sister, she did improve considerably after Kyrie was placed in the incubator with her. The children survived their rocky beginning and, in time, went home with their mother and father, but the media attention brought about by their story and the now-famous photograph prompted their parents, Heidi and Paul Jackson of Westminster, to change their telephone number.

Source:
Barker, Leslie.   “The Magic Touch.”
https://wwwparentingforbrain.com

The following discussion will follow in the class:
How do you feel after listening to the story?
What kind of communication did the babies have? 
Roleplay on these two babies- ( what would they say to each other, how would they behave and will they still be so close to each other.)
When they were born.
When they become 10 years old.
When they become 20 years old.
Draw a picture of your friend with whom you can share feelings and feel connected in your class.

Children should see the following video:

- Sandhya Thadani @JMMS, John Martyn Memorial School, Salangaon, Dehradun 

Brain - Urvish Singh

The brain is the most complex and mysterious organ, and still, scientists are researching how it works. The brain is two per cent of our whole body weight, but it uses approximately 20% energy of our body. As our body is made up of cells, the brain is also made up of neurons called brain cells, and approximately three billion neurons collectively form our brain. If you talk about the structure of a neuron, it has different parts like dendrites, axon, and terminal bottom, where dendrite is a hair-like structure, the axon is the middle part of the neuron, and the terminal bottom is the tail. Whenever we see something, listen to something or feel something, our sense organs send electrical signals to our brains through these neurons only, and the brain interprets this information. 

The brain is divided into two parts-left and right. Whenever we do something with our left side, our right brain works, and whenever we do any work with our right side, our left brain is working again. The brain is divided into three parts which are the forebrain, midbrain and hindbrain. The brain constitutes the cerebrum which is the biggest part of our brain and approaches 70% of our brain. This part and decides our thinking power and behaviour. It also controls the contraction and relaxation of our muscles. Another part is telecasters and the hypothalamus, which gives us information about temperature and the hypothalamus, which controls our feelings.

It consists of two parts which are Tectum and Tiguan. These parts receive information from the outer area and send it to the cerebrum. The hindbrain consists of three parts, the medulla oblongata cerebellum and pons, where the cerebellum controls the balance of our body. The medulla oblongata controls involuntary actions like a breeding heartbeat, etc.

Urvish Singh

The Fabindia School

ush@fabindiaschools.in

Happiness and Tolerance - Dr Mona Khanna

 “The key to happiness is the tolerance of those who do not do as you do." ~ Jeanette Winterson.” 

We argue the most with the people most important to us, our family. As children, we are blissfully unaware of parental duties and oppose so many decisions that our parents make for us. As parents, we try to impose those same expectations on our children. 

In today’s world, the generational gap is becoming increasingly evident and prominent. A member of Generation X, I am seldom in sync with the beliefs held by my Gen Z children. There are so many similarities and differences between their upbringing as compared to my own. Over the years, I’ve adjusted and adapted to their ideologies and principles as they have to mine. True happiness can only be achieved via harmony and mutual respect. Tolerance goes a long way in arriving at that harmony.

My son, Shiven, turned 20 years old recently, and I looked back at his critical decisions. It doesn’t matter if I agree or disagree with those decisions as long as he is satisfied with them and is making the most of his time. All my life has gone into studying and then teaching mathematics. My father was a civil engineer, my brother studied engineering while my daughter is pursuing medical. Safe to say, we are a science family. 

Ever since a child, Shiven shared my interest in Maths and Science. It hardly came as a surprise when he opted for PCM, post his 10th results. His career path was structured, and I was happy that he knew what he wanted to do in life. Fast forward two years, and I was stuck at a crossroad, I had never imagined myself to be facing. Shiven had given the IPMAT exam for IIM Indore’s 5-year dual degree program. The exam was supposed to be a back-up, and we weren’t expecting him to clear without preparing. So when he got through and then decided to accept their offer letter, I was not ready.

For ten years, we had shared a vision. It was really tough to let go of that dream and drastically switch careers. Never in my wildest dreams did I envision Shiven to pursue a Bachelor of Arts degree. Unprepared and confused, I sought counsel from many people on the program and curriculum. Shiven was adamant about joining, and I had to agree that the course was promising. Conflicting emotions led to unnecessary arguments that took time to mend. 

It was a crucial point not just for him but for me as a parent as well. I was going to have to learn to tolerate and accept some of my children’s decisions. I am a staunch advocate of the philosophy, ‘‘Live and Let Live.’’ I have lived my life on my own accord, making my own decisions, many of which haven't panned out the way I expected them to. It is incredibly challenging seeing your loved ones make mistakes, even more so if you could help prevent them.

As Shiven enters his 3rd year at IIM Indore, I marvel at what he has been able to achieve over the last two years. We are never going to get everything that we hoped for. Nor is everyone going to follow your principles or listen to your advice all the time. If that were the case, the world would be deprived of different talented individuals and lack creativity. 

Happiness and Tolerance go hand in hand. Keeping others happy, especially the ones you love, goes a long way towards your own happiness. At times, that requires tolerance, patience, and the ability to compromise. 

Ambiguity is a ubiquitous part of life. A student may spend his entire two years preparing for the course without knowing if the search will be in vain. He may stare at an abstract painting on a gallery wall, uncertain if the vague shape is a bicycle or a product of his own imagination. The tendency to view ambiguous and uncertain situations as appealing versus threatening is known as ambiguity tolerance (Frenkel-Brunswik, 1949; Budner, 1962) or uncertainty intolerance (Freeston, Rhéaume, Letarte, Dugas, & Ladouceur, 1994). People who are more tolerant of ambiguity report being happier (Bardi, Guerra, Sharadeh, & Ramdeny, 2009), more motivated to learn (Tapanes, Smith, & White, 2009). As teachers, we should be prepared to be more tolerant of ambiguity and be flexible to tap the best potential of the child and allow them to be risk-takers, creative and make the world a happier place for themselves. Tolerance doesn’t just make peaceful coexistence possible, another advantage is that being open to other ways of thinking can help with personal development.

Teaching children about tolerance is the best gift that you can give them as teachers. Children shouldn’t grow up with feelings of hate and suspicion. Children who grow up with hate and jealousy of others turn into unhappy people. And children who are forced to believe certain opinions will develop into people who aren’t free or independent thinkers. Tolerance can help shift the attitudes toward others, leading us to a more productive and happy life.

- Dr Mona Khanna, Vice Principal at Unison World School, she has joined the PLP Cohort for the Joy Of Learning Program at the John Martyn Memorial School in Salan Gaon near Dehradun, India Dr Khanna's professional profile - linkedin.com/in/mona-khanna-244198175 

Photo Courtesy The Doon School Weekly August 25, 2018, Issue No. 2510

Creating a Breathing Space

Many of us are familiar with the “oxygen mask rule” from air travel. The rule instructs us in an emergency to put on our own oxygen mask first before helping those around us. Roland Barth, the founder of the Harvard Principals’ Center, frequently employed this metaphor to make the point that adults in schools need to be learning and growing in order to help students learn and grow. Psychologist Rob Evans invoked the rule to remind educators that we must take care of ourselves in order to care for others.   Now more than ever, the oxygen mask rule is needed in education. Teaching and leading during this challenging and unprecedented period of a coronavirus pandemic and national protests to end systemic racism only underscores that educators must be able to handle stress and model caring and culturally responsive practices in order to create school and classroom communities where everyone feels safe, cared for and valued.  During this spring of school closure and remote learning, teachers and principals reported increased stress as they struggled to cope with the unknown and plan for new ways of teaching and learning. And, as is a danger when working from home, the lines between work and home blurred and it became even more challenging to unplug from work and turn the inner voice off.  When faced with so many in need during this time of crisis, it may feel indulgent or even privileged to be talking about self-care. It is actually more important than ever. Parker J. Palmer, author of The Courage to Teach, reminds us that: “Self-care is never a selfish act – it is simply good stewardship for the only gift I have, the gift I was put on this earth to offer others. Anytime we can listen to the true self, and give it the care it requires, we do so not only for ourselves but for the many lives we touch.”  One helpful way to think about self-care can be found in the work of the Mind and Life Institute, which defines 3 modes of care: receiving care, developing self-care and extending care. In this framework, self-care is defined as the ability to bring attention to our feelings and thoughts in a deeply accepting way. This is essential not only for our own well-being but also for our ability to care for others. If we have difficulty facing our own inner life, including challenging thoughts and emotions, we may also struggle to accept and embrace others.